okay .

i had this fever la dey .
and is 37.8 .
so is it high ?
soso la . still can handle .
though my head is spinning , like a globe .
hahahahahah .
used to it already .

and i made huge huge improvement today .
had laksa for lunch .
was damn full ,
but i stopped myself from vomiting .
so sleep and sleep and sleep .
until 6 , woke up , dinner time
had steak .
darn full la dey .

and home vomited .
nabuay .
must else dun eat .
damn pekchek AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH .

oh and i rather go kopitiam to order food than fastfood resturant .
why ?
cause kopitiam aunty call me : XIAOMEIMEI ,
while those idiots in fastfood resturant adressed me as : MDAM .
fuck u la dey .
i am xiao meimei okay ?
hahahahahah .


well well .
i still miss you .
but WHAT'S THE POINT LA DEY .
knnbpcb .
:(

i just don't believe it .

i don't i don't i don't .
i don't believe you are such a person .
i believe you ain't .

it has been 2 weeks plus .
and is hell .

now is not that i am afraid of food ,
it seems like the food is afriad of me .
they doesn't let me have them .
fuck
and even if i had ,
i throw them up again .

oh yea ,
i am having the whatever illness u call it .
the turn-off by -food sickness .
argh .
i want to eatttttttttt .
but i just get turned off by it .

DAMN IT SIO .
and and , food la dey ,
i wana eat la dey .

一個男朋友背叛了女朋友。
男朋友傷心說：你知不知我的心有多痛﹖
心會痛的嗎﹖
有沒有嘗試過﹖
如果從來沒有試過心痛，那一定是因為你太年輕。
又或者你活得很幸福。
心痛過的人都會明白，心痛跟心死或心傷是不同的。
心痛絕對不是一種誇張的描述。
心痛的時候，心，真的會絞痛，
有一種被人搾壓的感覺。
一剎那那種心刺痛的感覺之後，
就有一段長時候揮之不去的鬱結。
不難明白人類歷史有這麼長的一段時間
，相信心臟就是人思考的地方。
因為如果心不是用來思考，那，為什麼我們傷心時心會痛﹖
為什麼被人背叛時我們會心寒﹖
為什麼相遇時我們會心動﹖
當你愛上一個人的時候，是用心。
而遇上他，你的心就悸動，而且是不由自主地。
沒多久之後，你慢慢用腦袋去愛，而不是用心。
你用你的腦袋去分析他的說話。
在穩定的愛情之中，有很多時間都是用腦袋來交流彼此的思想。
你就會問自己：『我這樣做，合理嗎﹖』
『他說的話合理嗎﹖』
後來有一天，當情人令你失望，你會心痛。
心痛完之後，又再痛。慢慢，你就會變得麻目。
然後你的情人出現，問你： 「可以聽我解釋嘛﹖信我最後一次吧！我不會再背叛你。」
但無論他怎樣乞求你的同情，你的心都是靜的。
你會感到厭煩，你希望他別再搔擾你，別再給你添麻煩。
這個時候，啊！你的心不痛了。你只會頭痛。
曾經聽過一些愛得沈湎的女孩說：『愛一個人，一定很痛苦。所以你愛一個人，但不覺得痛苦，這種愛，充其量只是喜歡。
』我不知道真的愛情，是不是一定要痛才算是愛。
我只知道，只要你的心還痛，即使痛得死不欲生，還是放不下他。
無論他叫你多少次的失望，你仍然是愛他。
將情人稱為「心上人」原來是很有道理
。因為當你愛他的時候，你的心，是活躍的。
無論是悸動，忐忑或者不寒而慄，痛心疾首...
總之你的心口，感覺到自己的情緒，你仍然是放不下。
今日的你，還會不會為一個人，一段情而感到心痛﹖
心痛跟心動一樣，都不會長久。
當有一天，你聽到他的聲音。
你不再心痛，而只是覺得頭痛，
你已經忘記了他。

the pasts seemed to be like yesterday ,
while yesterday seems like donkey years ago .

oh boy , i missed you so much .
your presence , your scent ,
your everything .

to me you're everything a man should be .
believe me .

all the best in everything you do .
take a look at the horoscope ,
is true for you .

loves .

i had a dream of you and me .
it seems so real ,
so real that i thought you were true .
so real that i thought i was with you .
i wish the dream will come true .
is the sweetest dream in my life .
but they say ,
dreams is the opposite of reality .
i wished my wasnt .
i wished mine is true .
please tell me is true .

please ..
is hurting .

it started happily on the 10th ,
ended terribly on the 12th .
and 11th is my birthday .
what's more ?

i still love and can't forget you .
i see you grew from bad to good ,
then back to worse .
but i believe in you still .
till now .
no matter wht you said ,
i know is not you .
no matter how aching it is ,
i will wait .

i don't know how to get you out of my mind .
you said time .
what's the use of time .
you think it can mend my heart ?
time for you to play and worsen our situation ,
time for me to pain and die .

i wished you would call me tonight .
i'll pick up my phone .
within 3 rings .
cause that's what you taught me ,
and i'll remember .

i'll be loving you forever .
trust me .
till i found someone to replace you .
but i know is impossible .

SLA . SLA . SLA .

thanks babes for everything .
thank you so much for doing so much for me .
thank you for accompany me through these .
thank you for being my heroins .
thank you for your smiles and cheers .

still i am struggling ,
trying hard to do it .
perhaps a month more ,
then i'll be free .
but for now ,
i still love him .
cause , i still cant set free .

sorry babes .

Time can't hold on ,
And I'm not over you ,
I really need to fight ,
Just to make it through .
Most days it hurts ,
Some days it's ok ,
Can barely face the mornings ,
So I'm pushing you away .

I try to ignore my thoughts,
That lie so very deep,
But it's hard to forget,
So I cry myself to sleep.I'm numb to happiness,
Even more so that you're gone,
Nothing to gain now,
Because the reality's so wrong.

And nobody understands
,Don't see that I pretend,
I'm trying so hard,
But this heart won't seem to mend.
The memories kill me,
Hurt me so, so much,
Tears me apart,
That we've fallen out of touch.

Can't explain this feeling,
Pain so deep inside,
Still live in what I went through,
Before you slowly died.
Can still feel the agony,
The cold long nights,
Still can't find a reason,
To hold on tight.

Because I'm so close to following,
Just to get through,T
ime can't hold on,
And I miss you.

everyone makes mistakes in life .
everyone fails in a certain thing in life .
be it once or twice ,
but if we are willing to learn from our mistakes ,
and to do a better job next time ,
doesn't it matter whether we fail once or not ?

but what if you are willing to learn and to repent ,
but nobody give you a second chance to ,
then how is it possible ?

and what happend if ,
you are willing to give the chance ,
yet the person doesn't want to repent .

you and i , both had our mistakes .
but if because of one mistake ,
we give up just like this ,
then how are we going to improve ?

be it however who wants to repent ,
or who needs the chance ,
whatever it is .
try your best .
cause you'll never know ,
when you'll get your chance ,
or you can give the chance .

everybody should be given chances each time ,
but we have to learn from it .
if not what for fall and bleed ?

why cant i sleep ??!?!
why cant i faint ?!!?!
i tried many ways ,
but i just cant .

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH .
i am going crazy .
please come save me my hero .

i need many many sleeping pills .
to sleep .
i need many many many many sleeping pills to faint .
i need many many many many many many sleeping plls
to never wake up .

i don't want think .
i need help .
i don't want , i don't want .
i feel so miserable .
so scary .
noone is here for me .
NOONE .
noone cares for me .

i'm left with nothing .
and i'm only waiting for his call stupidly .
knowing he'll never call ,
i still wait .

i want to diediediedie .
my soul is already dead .
what left is my body .
anyone interested ?
i don't mind .
is nothing anymore .
it doesnt matter to me anymore .

who can make me live again .
who can actually make me eat and sleep again .
who can make me happy again ?
i wished it was him ,
somehow , i know is impossible .
cause he's still hiding !

KANINABEIPHUACHEEBYE .
fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me .
i'm worthles , i'm worthless i'm worthless .

so worthless and unimportant that he could ,
actually leave me in the night in a unknown place .
he knows i dun recognise route .
but he bear to .
so who am i to him ?

he never offer me pandadol light ,
but to her .
it just seems that ,
i am nothing again .

DEAD .

i am a life zombie .
no food no sleep .
does it matters ?
no , my presence is just extra .

i am loathsome , irritating ,
disgusting , ugly , useless .
and i failed badly .

i am a bitch . i am a slut .
i am a whore .

i am not a good girlfriend .
yes i have a boyfriend .
and he doesn't aknowledge my presence .
so does it matters ?
everyday he hide .
everyday i chase .
is tiring .

just let me be .
don't ask if it's true .
cause it might not be true .
what's true in this world .
nothing is true .

i wish i faint and never wake up .

food is my ENEMY ,
sleep is not my thing .
heehee (:

and i'm happy .
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA .

((:

all i ever want was just to help .
all i want was just to be by your side ,
when you need someone .
all i want was share your sorrows with you .
all i want was you to be a good person .
all i want was you to succeed and achieve .
all i wan was for you to grow .

all you do is to reject my help .
all you do is to run away from me .
all you do is to stay away from me .
all you do is hide everything to me .
all you do is to not need me .
all you do is to complain about me .
all you do is to let go of me .
all you do is not to give yourself a chance .

i gave in , a million step ,
you just refused to take the a million and one step .
what's the use .

i am so proud of you , yet you're not proud of me .
i had so much confidence in you ,
but you didn't have it within you .
i trust you so much , but you doubt everything .
i believe in your ability , but you choose to ignore it .
i give in to you , you choose to give up .

i helped you in many ways i could ,
in return hurting myself .
i gave you my only helpline ,
and hope you treassure it .


what can i say .
i'll wait .
for the moon sun planet universe to collapse .
just to hear this 3 simple words .
ILY .

is difficult lahs .
impossible one .

☆听说爱情回来过☆
爱是一种需要 一种缺乏
所以我们都喜欢情歌
不管爱在进行中 还是仍未萌芽
不管你爱他比较多 还是她爱你比较多
爱或被爱其实都是一种喜悦

在朋友那儿听说
知心的你曾回来过
想请他替我向你问候
只为了怕见了说不出口
你对以往的感触还多不多
曾让我心碎的你
我依然深爱着

在朋友那儿听说
知心的你曾找过我
我要他帮我对你隐瞒
只是怕见了面会更难过
我对以往的感触还那么多
曾给我幸福的你
我依然深深爱着

有一种想见不敢见的伤痛
有一种爱还埋藏在我心中
我只能把你放在我的心中
这一种想见不能见的伤痛
让我对你的思念越来越浓
我却只能把你把你放在我心中

在朋友那儿听说
知心的你曾找过我
我要他帮我对你隐瞒
只是怕见了面会更难过
我对以往的感触还那么多
曾给我幸福的你
我依然深深爱着

有一种想见不敢见的伤痛
有一种爱还埋藏在我心中
我只能把你放在我的心中

这一种想见不能见的伤痛
我却只能把你把你放在我心中
对你的声音你的影你的手
我发誓说我没有忘记过
而关于你选择了现在的他
我只能说我有些难过
我也真心真意的等过

有一种想见不敢见的伤痛
有一种爱还埋藏在我心中
我只能把你放在我的心中
这一种想见不能见的伤痛
让我对你的思念越来越浓
我却只能把你把你放在我心中
只能把你放在我的心中

i'll wait .

funny shit .
had been watching movies with friends .
rented one thailand ghost show .
HAHA .
a very lame one .
didn't watch finish .
leong larhs .
ASS .
hahahahahahaha .

watched 200 pounds beauty too .
guess talent doesn't mean anything uh .
definetly agree .
but well , it actually sees how you manage thing yea ?
if you are bold and dare to show out ,
your talent will be appreciated no matter how ugly you are .
but can you endure those mockery before you make a name out of yourself ?
that's the question .
but artificial beauty means nothing .
all fake .
want to kiss also scared , the nose drop .
cant smile too widely cause the jaws might drop .
your guy can't squeeze your boobs cause it might burst ,
& your butt too .
so what's so nice about plastic sugery ?!
haha .
give up the idea on that ya ?


hahahahaha . but it's a nice movie .
:D the song damn nice .
her voice damn power .
woo .

leong showed us some post way back .
is soo funny !
i mean , eh bitch your english really improve uh .
haha . damn funny .
you guys should really see man .

oh yea .
my result sucks like to the core .
is the worst result i ever had .
screw me .
but let's not get beaten down .
brace myself out uh .
let's not regret .

out and my spa 3 , sure full marks uh .
HAHA .
over confident ,
who cares ,
CAN PASS !
(:

the biggest misery in life is not , failure , but regrets .
if we failed , we can climb up again ,
but if we regret , is a feeling that follows us throughout our life .
XD
let's not regret . LOVES .

monday BLUEEEEEEEEEE .
was very tired today .
didn't sleep properly the night before .
$#$*!$&#!&$!#% !!
ah whatever .

maths and bio lessons ,
both of my interested subjects .
i want to score well in both these subjects .
i want to get a1
nono a1SSSSSSSS .

yes , i need these confidence .

i will get 4 a1s during o's .
i can get it , even with my eye close .
i can do it even writing with my left hand . (i'm a right hander)
i can even write with my leg .
i can do it even i am dreaming .
i can do it smoothly .

HAHA . over confidence .
but this is the confidence .

but to do it i must ,
do serious mugging ,
mug , mug and MUG !!!
determination .
JYJYJY shiyun u can DO IT .
WE CAN DO IT .
everybody can ALRIGHT .
be confident , cause you make the preparations .

SMILE . JYJYJY .
EXCEL , and UNLEASH OUR POTENTIAL !
loves . XOXOXO .

campus superstar is SOSO .
haha .
lameshit . first and last time i am watching .
hahah .
the girls real power ,
boy i shouldn't memtion .
got one damn shuai , but sing like fuck !
#$#*$*#!* !
go die . haha .

jaiyou , let's study !
what's is study ?
is enjoyment and entertainment !
WHEEEEEEEEEE !!!!

wapiang . my stomach is killing me .
i vomited .
haha . guess is the bazhang .
i forgot cannot eat cause ,
haha , is not good for digestion .
HAHA .
then i am sooooo sleepy .
i want to sleep .
all day long .
YEA !

so bored .
and i played this dumb but cute game ,
the bunny game .
keep dying .
leong is mad , damn pro .
can see she damn free .
ahah .

wooo . i spent my one whole weeek doing nothing .
no school no tuition no revision ,
thanks to my stomach and headache .
but i done something meaningful .
i attended band twice to help out !
XD

haha . quite disappointed ah ,
but is none of my business anymore .
like what mr azman said ,
learn to give up ,
yea i should .
and i think he already .
mastered how to give up.
X)) .

monday tomorrow .
lesson time .
having maths lesson ,
so kinda alright .
i must bounced back .

CHEERIOS TO EVERYBODY .
let's PARTY .

loves .

wa fuck blogger . can't changed the font thigny .
this font damn ugly .

ah . my gastric flu and spraint wrist is killing me .
i eat what shit what . must else eat shit better .
heehee .
ahhh . i want to eat steamboat ,
and i want to go out and play .
is time for me to enjoy .
and study . how to study .
everything goes wrong .
i cant take it .

2 more days left ,
what to do .

FRE%$#%QAG%$EQ#YH$#Q !!

someone is late , yet someone doesn't wants to admit it .
and even blamed people for SLANDERING ...
wooo , passing a remark is slandering .
if you really love him , u will not be LATE .
so your mentality is ,
whatever sin i done , i just have to ask for forgiveness ,
cause he will forgive me .
that is call self deceived .
then let's go rob the bank and ask for forgivness .
woo . then we are right to rob huh ?
and i think you seriously need to seek for your true self .
stop blogging the so not you ya ?
you know your own fairy tale uh .
we don't need to tell you .