oh dear.
this is not nice.
i hope everything will be fine.
please just one last chance.

PLEASE.
just something light.
so that the family would be save.


god.
sigh :(

I need to...

save,
slim,
suntan,
shape,
shop,
school,
sing,
swim,
shave? -lol
sleep!
and lastly...


SHIT!

only you,
can make the world goes round.
only you,
can see me cry.
only you,
can hold me like a child.
only you,
can make me miss your eyes.
only you,
can make my heart so bruise.
only you,
can change the life i choose.
only you,
can love me like you do.
:D

heehee.
:D
happyhappy

Love,
even if the whole world abandoned you,
i'll be there for you.
but there is always a reason why they abandoned you,
why they choose to ignore you.
they care more than enough,
but you just dont seem to appreciate it.
i know you're not in a good mood,
but it doesn't seem like others are too.

do you think,
your mom is also feeling good travelling to thomson,
just for you.
do you think,
she loves being shouted by her own child infront of the others.
how would you feel?

my mom is worst off than her,
but i dont treat her like this.
you should appreciate everything you got,
before is too late.

you lose it once,
you know the taste the feeling,
the consequences,
but it doesnt mean you will gain it the second time.
you regretted your silly mistakes,
then dont wait for your next foolish act to act up again.
stop it.

just,
clear up the mess of the past,
and move on.
now you're like the past,
the 6 months you.
please dont,
you can be better,
we all know.

baby,
not only i love you,
i am sure they all love you too,
just that you dont appreciate at all.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASLYN TAN!
hoho :D

hope you enjoy the mini and failure surprise lo.
and the mini mini eygpt experience.
so you know what to taste and get during your eygpt trip.
:)


had fun counting down to 12,
and the lights did spark up the whole night!
so loves.
:D

leong and shan stayed over.
cooked maggi for them in the afternoon.
haiya,
if singapore got the best maggi's award,
i will sure get the.
heehee-


i'm lazy to upload photos. :D


hope everything will be fine one day,
and i'll be happier each day.
dont know why i'm so pessimistic these days.
sigh.
got to learn to let go of myself.
but i still am happy.
idk why i'm like that.
so torturing.

There shouldn't be a reason doing so.
and idk why.


i painted my nails blue lei,
cool or what.
no it isn't
just for fun.


i am feeling blue now.
you make me feel this way.

Oh dear.
silly/tired/confused/love/happy/satisfied/jealous/
stupid/worried/concern/smile/frown/care/questions/
honesty/trust/confidence/heart/beg/pray/hope/


Even though you're doing so much,
i cant help but to doubt.

my life's been so peaceful,
happy, and rather happy.

just that,
i need more money!
walao,
i very sad man.
no money!


baby,
want you to know,
no matter what happen,
i will stay by your side.
unless you cheat on me,
which you never will.
so it means i will stay by your side forever.
:D
stay strong.
everything will turn out fine.
study hard and piano hard.
you can do it! :D
thanks for everything you done for me
these few days.
:D

i saw this stupid girl,
having this as her wishlist,
last forever,
why she want to be positioned last forever!
so sad lo!
haha. idc whats the real meaning.
and i saw another stupid girl,
she took the photo of her talking on a phone,
er no,
smiling with the phone on her ear,
caption was tokkingg?
FUCK YOU MAN.
to answer to your that profound question,
the answer will be yes,
if you are actually talking and hearing someone over the next line,
and woa congrads you are talking!
the answer will be no,
if you hear no sound.
duh.
WTF,
doesn't even know she is talking or not,
and it shouldnt even be a question
wtf.
stupid girl.
go and die.

oh, blogging?
o.o

i just want someone to embrace me,
dry my tears,
and whisper to me "i'm here for you."

that's simple.
just you.

hello everyone.
i am seahshiyun patterson joey christ.

WTF!?

i really dont understand why people like to give themselves
english names behind their own name.
is that to make themselves more angmo?
come on la.
why not blonde your hair make yourself more angmo.


harlow.
wa shi ahyunxiaogerx.
i dont understand why some people like to give themselves
hokkien names,
and always some stupid one.
they can relate like everything anything on earth to make,
a name of theirs.
and it sounds so =.=.
xiao and ah is so so so common.
riddiculous lo.


hello, i am lonelygirl/boy.
their vocab is like damn limited.
is either lonely girl/boy, confused girl/boy
or sad girl/boy.
not like as if people doesnt know if they are males are females isnt it?
must they say?!


wtf.
i am so gonna name myself mary or what.
susan sally maggie sounds not bad too.
oh darn.

Everything is so unfair to me.
i feel so wrong.

I forgotten what is fear
i forgotten what is pain.


All i understand is love.


i dont understand why am i this way,
i just hope is an end for everything.
if only i have the heart to end it all,
if only i didn't fell so deep,
it wouldn't be like this.


Tears revealed my jealousy, worried
and tiredness.
nothing more.
i just want to vent it all out.

woo,
iam having campbell soup.
added chicken and button mushroom.
nice man.

i will get fat if i go on like this.
but i dont care much.
AND!
i scald my tongue lo,
so pain!!!
hhahaXD

i feel like having curry noodles,
and half boil egg.


oh boy,
ily.
please be good.
:D

ya,
it started with me.
so i should end it.

everyone listen up.
i admitted my fault for being riddculous that day,
in the conversation,
like longlong ago.
i am sorry for all these things which happen,
which i feel uber remorseful in my post back.
and i thought by saying those,
you guys will know that i did admit my mistake,
but obviously you doesnt know.

there is too much to explain,
so i think there is nothing to explain.
if what i had done really hurts you all all so much.
then i am truely sorry.
and if my friend is going to condemn me for one mistake i made
i got nothing better to say.

i really dont know what to explain,
why not ask me what happened i give you the answer.
i really dont know how did my that insisting conver,
affects the whole damn group.
but i know,
was my wrong to admit,
so how do you want me to prove that i admiited.

can give me abit of space or not?
then who the fuck knows how i feel.
so what is cause of my bad attitude,
i dont feel guilty of the arguements going on,
i dont feel bad when i see everything is push to me.
just because,
you guys wanted to tell me my bad,
so is my fault that things arise.
is so many misunderstandings lo,
so many many many,
that i dont know how to explain.

i kept insisting that day with clara,
cause i feel that the approach to me was so wrong.
the way she talks is like defending him.
so, i was angry.
so i talked all those in anger.
and the next day,
when grace talked to me,
directly,
i know what's going on and my bad,
so i admitted.
so i silence down.
so i kept quiet.

so how did i know,
saying feeling uncomfortable with you is also my fault.
yes,
i admit i hurt you so much.
but not like as if you didnt hurt me with your words.
so you want me to tell you what,
the way you said everything in that conver,
hurt me.
okay?
and i am sorry truely sorry about the uncomfortable thing,
i only felt like this recently,
so you dont have to get so uptight.
i thankyou for always being there for me,
trying to help me.
all these i understand.

so many times i want to sms you to apologise,
but the thing you said on your blog pull me back.
cause you didnt know i admitted my fault.
now i tell you i admitted it longlong ago.
ok?
and i didnt explain cause i thought everyoen can let it go,
and make you guys feel that i changed.
such things i see no need to explain.
so if you still want to hold this things and talk about the conversation,
i got nothing to say.

but i am srry for my attitude and my words.

Finally after days of huge downpour,
the sun begins to shine.


i hope things would be better.
cranes represent peace.
:D

I never been feeling like this before.

such...


:(

i made a big mistake.

a good intention which turn of bad.

a bad impression to god-damn worst.

a mistake which leads to no end.

how can i forgive myself?

a guy whom helped me so much in the past,

and now i got to dissapoint him.

i feel so terrible that it turned out this way,

and i never expect it would be.

if only people can see things in 2 ways,

things wouldnt be so bad.

i admit my wrong,

he admitted his wrong,

but thing just gone to big,

and the power of friendship is still not there.

and now everything falls.

is all my wrong,

i shouldn't planned everything so nicely,

and told noone about it.

they mistaken him about it,

and i made him feel so pathetic,

like a loner.

i shouldn't.

everything starts from me,

and it ended on them.

and i know,

nothing gonna be the same i know.

and this is the only way i can show my feelings to everyone.

i always thought i was right,

and even when i done something wrong,

i will get forgiven easily,

cause when people does me wrong,

i forgive them easily.

but i didn't know,

not everyone is the same.

different people with different perspect.

i didnt know,

i dont know.

i know it isn't right for a boyfriend to be like this,

but i dont mind.

but others mind i didnt know.

i didnt know,

someone confidence respect and conscious

is so difficult to earn back.

i thought it was easy,

because i can.

but i forgot,

they are not me.

what i did i hurt my boyfriend,

and i hurt my friend.

either way i choose is so wrong,

so so wrong.

what should i do?

give up both and start a new life.

i know i can always do it,

but i can't bear to give up both.

i owe them too much.

both parties,

cause they'll never know how much he sacrifies for me.

and he'll never know how much they tried for me.

and they'll never know i didn't mean a thing.

and i'll never know how much it means to them,

cause i always forget,

they're not me.

they see him as bad,

see him as attiude see him as childish

see him as insensible.

i know.

sometimes he does.

but how can i expect him to change sososo fast.

idk.

everything i said just seems so wrong.

if i admit my fault,

he says i side my friends.

if i doesnt admit my fault,

they said i pamper him.

but there is two way i see.

two,

i saw both mistake,

cause i understand both side.

but i forgot,

they dont understand him much,

and he doesnt understand them much either.

i just want to say,

he's not a badie.

imuststartsavingnowifnotiwilldiediediedie.
savesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesave
savesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesave
savesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesave
savesavesavesavesavesavesavesavesaveasve

ohmygodyoucantimaginetherateispendmymoney,
andwhatsupidthingsispenton.
ismostlyfoodandtaxiandisoregret.
whowanttobuymyshit?
isfullofdelicaciesokay!

No I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way
The story goes
You always smile but in your eyes
Your sorrow shows
Yes it shows
No I can't forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrow
When I had you there
But then I let you go
And now it's only fair
That I should let you know
What you should know
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't give
I can't give anymore
Well I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way
The story goes
You always smile but in your eyes
Your sorrow shows
Yes it shows
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't live
I can't give any more
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't give
I can't give anymore

hoho.

somehow somewhat.

happy 21st birthday eugene! (:

the chalet is big de lo!
had funs and laughters
with my cousins and aunty as usual.

hoho :D


there is this fucking construction going on,
and they,
drill,
knock,
bang,
talk,
shout!

i cant sleeppppp~
and i want to!
i got home just this morning at 10!


things are so contradicting,
is still left hanging there.
if you started it,
then clear the mess,
since things are already so awful and ugly,
then just make things better.

watched leap years yesterday.
not bad la.
but i would rather read the story book lo.
cause,
the show was qutie draggy,
thus boring.
yet clara yeo spoils it all!
walao eh lo,
indians cant be romantic de lo!


nothing much today.
after jap lesson chilled out with ry,ys,cy,gt and al.
HAHA
bye!

i wana find japanese words and blog.
ok.
bye
hahahahah XD

why cant money grow on trees?
imagine with the leaves are all money,
what will happen?

hoho!
no one will live to a rip age either.
cause,
everyone starts cutting down tree,
earth lacks tree for photosynthesize,
cause greenhouse effect then global warming,
and ultimately ozone layer deplation.
then everyone will die of skin cancer.
and so what if you got money?


is money really that important?
i know it is to buy things.
but is it necesary to work because you need the money.
lets say for example,
i am someone who love saxophone.
i love to perform, willing to spend hours at home to practise,
not because i am bored at home,
the reason is cause i rejected my friends out just to practise
kind of thing.
then okay is passion.
so people says musician doesnt get job easily.
but what is my passion really drive to get my ultimate dread
i can be a great time soloist, famous saxophonist,
paid for thousands for one performance!
i am working for my passion not money,
but still i enjoy my time and wealth.
isnt it great?



and if you found out you work for money,

so stfu.
i know what i want.
so long i am happy does it matters?
i am enjoying every single seconds in my life.


i am not saying i want to be a great saxophonist,
not because i know i cant,
is because i love saxophone as a hobby,
i dont really like performing for others,
but i do enjoy playing and having the bond with band members.
i dont like going on solo.
hoho.

and for my designing course in tp,
i still enjoy designing.
i had got great creativity so why not give it a try?
i know what is nice and what is not.
:D

RANDOM LIKE TOTALLY OMGODDDDDD!

pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease

The music box stopped playing,
just like how my heart stopped beating.
:(


i'm wondering if we beat the red light,
we got to pay the fine.
what if it's green light,
and the car refused to move,
so will you get fine?
random.


collected my mehmeh necklace.
gym the whole week.
and i think i need a job.
think only uh!

haha.
my one hour 10 bucks isnt enough for me.
and i work as and when i feel like it.
such a bad child.
HOHO :D


dear judge,
please be fair.
hope/wish/pray/beg/plead
that he'll be fine.
yes.
i can't bear to see a child's life ruin.
i know you too.
pleaseeeeeeee.