damn it la sio .
today not on form .
couldn't absorb anything .
but today was quite a discovery day for me .
i discovered that ,
i am quite into biocellular or molecular thingy .
about mutation and clonning ,
damn interesting .
haha .
if i go poly ,
so gonna get it lahs .
then i found out more about jc .
somemore is sain't andrew's .
hahah .
favourite lei .
(:
hahahaha XD

now , is just awaiting for result .
H2 bio , maths and geography .
i must buck up on this three .
physic go play farfar .
XD
hahah .

oh drag .
i can't concentrate at home man .
i can't study at home .
i can't do many things .
i can't stop thinking at night .
boohoo .

i thought i could let it down ,
but it just seemed that i can't make it .
i hate being alone ,
cause i keep thinking ,
keep me busy and make me high .
i need extreme estacsy now .
lalalalalala .
:D

okay .
we must know where we are heading to .
set a target , and move towards it .
even if is a longer route , a highway a shortcut .
find one route which you are confidence to get to your destination .
even if its the longest route .
so long it takes you to the destination ,
it doesn't matter .
sometimes i wonder ,
people at such young age learning to commit such things .
have they ever think of their future ?
or did fun just filled their brains .
there is so many type of fun ,
does doing those thing really fun ?
hahs .
bored ?
nothing is bored on earth la dey .
it totally depend on how you see things .
then again ,
i think they are dumb ,
they see no reason in quitting ,
neither they had a reason for doing ?
wait till they grow old ,
then they will see the consequences of their actions .
but what for wait till then ?
why wait till you get hurt , when you know you can stop it be then .
dumb creatures .

everything was shattered .
i know i will have a better life .
but you ?
is uncertain .
one day , you'll realised that what you are chasing are empty hopes .
cause is things which harmed you .
at least i know what i'm chasing are not emprty hopes .
cause they are chances of you realising that fact .
and i am always behind you .

i realised i had change , you had changed ,
but there is still one thing in me that haven change ,
is the trust in you ,
the belief i always believe in .
you're the greatest ,
at least once , to me ,
you will always be .
:D

monday blueeeeeeeeeeeee .
so sick uh .
today damn shag .
damn it la sio .
i don't like monday .
counting down ,
4 more days .
HA !
to friday .

WOO ~
damn it la sio .
i cant be my sis bridemaid .
cause why ?
i having PRELIMS !!
add maths and chinese ppr 2
waseh .
sian sio .
no hong bao to take !!!!
tmd .
waseh .
damn it la sio .
aiya . sad sio .
one good thing ,
don't need buy dress .
can spend it on others !
wahaha !!!
lalal .

XD

let's see how ,
shall decide later .
(:

bei ai pi ai ren gen jia xin fu .
to be love is better than loving someone (:

nothing much today .
had a haircut ,
and went to furama hotel
for dinner .
very nice ambiance .

suck .
totally .
monday tommorow ,
means the start of a whole fucking week ,
DAMN IT LA SIO .

i am very lazy to do english now ,
and i realised i only do maths homework .
a&e maths only .
gahs . XD

oh yea ,
next week , saturday ,
is shopping day .
hahs .
yea !

oh great .
collecting of result soon .
so love .
so great .
such great relief .
HA !

longlong journey .
i feel for you , my child .
hope you will see the light ,
and change for the better .

i feel that is very strange .
why do people hold grudges
and feel hatre towards people .
can't people forgive and forget ?
why should a minor mistake be
penalize forever ?
why can't they clear up misunderstandings ,
and improved for the better ?
why must such a great friendship turns to hatre in a blink of eye .
i believe everyone has their faults too right ?

taking at no stand .
and trust what i see .
sometimes , you have to reflect on you yourself .
why can 5 people at the same time turn their back on you .
oh , they you'll go thinking that she was the one who influence us .
but think again ,
do you think we are so easily influence ,
or should i say she is so influential to do it ?
or maybe it is better for me to say that ,
will she say such things ?
you said that she was your close friend ,
so you think she will do such thing ?

i can honestly , it had got nothing to do with her .
frankly speaking ,
i admit it feel very bad to be left alone .
don't say you only , i feel it more .
furthermore , i am the only one in other class .
but how did i react to it ?
did i shut myself more , to further the distant ,
or i tried to change my ways ,
and bond with you guys .
wouldn't it be worst ?
shame ?
if we're friend , shame such word doesn't even should be appearing .

don't you feel that ,
insteand of thinking why we ignore ,
why don't you think about where di you do wrong ?
you always think you're right ,
so you didn;t make the approach ,
thus things accumulate .
why not take the approach first ,
then think about it later .
things might not be the way you think it is .
it might be better .

you approach her like as if you wana kill her .
you said that she was a bitch ,
cause you felt neglected by a close friend .
but come on ,
she was being accused did she even say
any mean words to you ?
if she did something wrong without any intention of it ,
and can received such big hatre from you ,
then how much should she hates you ,
when what you said was on intention ?
don't you feel what you are saying is seriously very mean .
seriously ., she never ever talk behind your back at all .
we do talk behind your back ,
but sorry ,
i am the one who start the conversation .
okay ?
and i swear , she never add on at all .

then now you will think ,
" oh . that bitch must be telling you guys about how poor thing she is ,
and she need backings from us . "
sorry , what u're thinking now is so not right .
cause i am blogging after i saw whats on her and your blog .
so don't think what you are thinking is right .

yes i admit ,
you feel very very sad .
i know .
but seriously , you seeked for it .
caused of your easily irritated character .
and your so called , whatever i think i am right character .

and think about it .
last year , she wasn't that close to us too .
and she partner with others in class too .
then what makes you think she dun feel neglected ?
but she didn't say anything to us .
instead she followed us .
she sticked with us .
then don't you think you are super selfish ?
when you feel alone ,
then you stat pushing blames to others .
and to the innocent one .
instead of seeking for hatre and revenge ,
why not seek for others ?
you got no friend ,
and you blamed her for neglecting you .
then even if she neglect you , you should have us what .
but no you don't .
you got no more friends to turn too .
cause in actual fact ,
you had not many friends .
that's the truth .
and why is it so .
god knows , you know .
ask yourself that .

our doors are never close .
please ,
have some own concious ,
realise your own mistake ,
instead of seeking for fault .
such things ,
no one at fault .

i just don't understand .
people just have to learn , to give and to take .
to forgive and forget .
to take things easy and forget about it .
so what if she called us a dog .
will is cost us a meat ?
do what we are being accused for nothing ,
we wouldn't die .
what for get angry over it , and set up another war ?
why not , find some solution to help those in need .
understand this two sentence people :

ren yi shi feng ping lang jing , tui yi pu hai kuo tian kong .
de run ren chu jzie run ren .

oh drag .

so tired everyday .
not enough of sleep .
O.O

usual routine on friday .
was kinda slack uh .
free periods .
hah .
do i even looked like as is i am having o's ?
NO?

waseh .
i need to study more .
and practise more .
is a have to , must to , a need to .
gosh .
is going to august .
and i so can't wait for it .
:D
collecting of results .
had this feeling i wouldn't do well .
retake ?
uh .
should be a yes .

saturday .
DAMN IT LA SIO .
so fun .
hahahahaha .
XD
tuition or movie .
both was fun .
oh .
THE SIMPSONS .
damn it la sio .
is damn fucking hilarious .
HAHAHAHA .
so funnny .

having some mixed thoughts .
some . weird feelings .
shag la .
i cant imagine of the consequences .
xp .
well .
whatever it takes ,
i will help all i can .
make a u-turn ,
and run back to the right path please .
you're so blinded .
i hoped you have the power to ,
the strength to do it .
i will give you a lift .
i promise .
i still believe in you still .

it's a long long journey
till i know where i'm supposed to be
it's a long long journey
and i don't know if i can believe
when shadows fall and block my eyes
i am lost and know that i must hide
it's a long long journey
till i find my way home to youmany days i've spent
drifting on through empty shores
wondering what's my purpose
wondering how to make me strong
i know i will falter i know i will cry
i know you'll be standing by my side
it's a long long journey
and i need to be close to you
sometimes it feels no one understands
i don't even know why
i do the things i do
when pride builds me up till i can't see my soul
will you break down these walls and pull me through
cause it's a long long journey
till i feel that i am worth the price
you paid for me on calvary
beneath those stormy skies
when satan mocks and friends turn to foes
it feel like everything is out to make me lose control
cause it's a long long journey
till i find my way home to you.
to you

everyone's seemed so not themselves today .
the mood wasn't right ,
the tone wasn't right .
perhaps is due to the cold weathers ,
which leads to all this .
the weather was so cold ,
in addition to our classroom air con ,
it make the air kind of still .
everyone looks so stone .
ha .

maybe you're better off this way .
everybody loves to escape and run away from reality .
the first one to run , is the winner .
cause the other party will have to face it all by themself .
you think i don't wish to run and hide too ?
well , i greatly wish i could .
but i can't cause you had the upperhand first .
ya . selfish .
i agree , and an act of a coward .
it is .
what does these people loves to say :
time will show everything or even solve it .
time will not show , change or solve anything .
after all , the thing will still be there ,
everything . is still there .
time will only dragged everything ,
and in the end allows those forgetful soul ,
to forget everything ,
well , those who cherish those moments suffers .
one day , we'll face it , why not now ?
just admit it , you had got no guts .

yes august is approaching .
prelims are approaching .
and o's is coming .
i feel ultra happy .
cheerios to it !
damn it la sio .
i so gonna spend my 2 months wisely .
time to wash my brain ,
and kill my cells .

things ain't getting any better .
the drastic mood swing ,
the cause-for-the-sake-of-you-i-smile smile ,
the violence ,
the change in attiude ,
i can't explain it either .
laughing outside , weeping inside ,
what's worst ?

no , i ought to master the ,
i don't give a fucking care to what's going on attiude .

those glances , is enough to kill me .
i can't understand that expression of yours .
caused i think it was god damn gross .
something don't change but somethings will .
that smirk is so totally off .

oh heard this song .
-journey ,
yes that gentlemen over the other side ,
kindly delicate this song to me ,
cause i think it shows you .

damn it la sio .
is the brain operation's room ready ?
i'm all aready . ):

MONSTEROUS DAY !
that's what monday stands for right?
well .
lesson as per normal ,
didn't had bio lesson ,
feel so sad lahs !
HAHA .
i hate monday school's song .
what's the real aim of singing an athem like that .
is to pledge loyalty and to build spirit ,
but obviously la ,
we failed to do so .
then they will start to force ,
whats the use of being loud when it doesnt contain meaning ?
right ?
so just cut away that part .
save time uh .
((:

yadayada .
after school went dte .
did some amaths sums.
i suck at probability !
fuck it sio .
nehmind , practise make perfect .
so i shall practise ! :D

after that , was drenched on my way home .
shiok uh .
been a long long time , since i walked under the rain .
so i love walking under the rain .
but yep , i wouldn't fall sick so easily !
i am strong and awesome eh .
HAH !

oh yea .
i love BUBBLESSSSSSSSSS .
so cute !!!!
i want a bubble and balloon that will not BURST .
cause , i am afraid of the balloon bursting .
and i want to capture the lovely moments in the bubbles ,
and let it fly high up into the sky .
and never will it comes down .
boohoo .
anyone can make that for me !?
hahahahah XD

lallang is also beautiful .
i just found out that ,
the world is so beautiful with such moments .
balloons , bubbles , lallang and rain all falls on the same time .
nice isn't it ?!
loves .
xoxo .

imy badly suddenly .
mylove . <3

only heaven knows .

always on my mind
From the time I wake up,
Till I close my eyes.
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know.
And though she's so far away,
It just keeps getting stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me, where do I start'Coz it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Chorus:
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope & pray'
Coz heaven knows.

My friends keep telling me
That if you really love her,You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in time
I'll know she's mine
But tell me, where do I start'
Coz it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go
(Repeat Chorus except last line)

Bridge:'
Coz heaven knows Why I live in despair
'Coz wide awake or dreamin',
I know she's never there
And all the time I act so brave,
I'm shakin' inside
Why does it hurt me so?
(Repeat Chorus)

Heaven knows... heaven knows.

changed it to HIM .

gosh .
been sort of busy these few days uh .
HAHA .

shopping ,
studying ,
playing ,
eating ,
and sleeping .

okay .
fun okay !

my sister wedding is round the corner .
gosh cant wait .
imgaine ,
seahshiyun ,
in dress , makeups and heels .
uh huh .
cant imagine right .
HAHA .
me either .

next saturday gonna sample the dishes for my sis's wedding .
CANT WAIT LA .
hahahah .
this is the moment man .
waseh ,
gonna take lots of pics for my FRIENDS .
what are friends for right .
HAH !
XD

talking about marriage ,
was thinking about mine too .
some might say , too early .
concentrate on study .
well true . but
still i wish i would have a blissful and stable marraige .
imagine , a 10 yrs marraige , and end up divorcing ,
so disheartening .
what a waste .
but why a divorce ?
wouldn't things have better solution than going seperate way ?
i mean , there must be love and fate that brought two together as one .
why end it ?
i don't understand .
maybe some people just don't understand ,
the meaning of give and take .

well , cant imgaine how my wedding will be ,
the wedding gown , the cake , the car
and the bride .
hahs .
gosh , thining too far uh .
but i believe thats the day i am looking foward to ,
and that will be the prettiest day of my LIFE ,
i mean every lady's LIFE .

okay .
studies now .
i love bioooooooooooooooooooo .
i love mathsssssssssssssssss .
A1 for both !
hahahah .

what's mine will be mine ,
what's not mine will not be mine .
i can't force ,
cause if its mine ,
one day it will be .
let leaves it to fate .
only heaven knows .

school is fine ..
the weather is so fine .
the sky looked so fine .
the class is fine .
my friends are fine .
they looked fine .
i looked fine .
i am fine .
my health is fine .
my smiles are fine .
my laughters are fine .
well , everything is fine .

today is a fine day .
lameeeeeeeeeeeeee .

is either i dun talk at all or i crapped alot .
either OR .
is either i sulk the whole day or i smile .
eitherOR

i choose to smile and crapped .
and laugh none stop .
and joke none stop .


woo . i saw the time 1010 .
right now , this moment .
super happy .
caused is my happy memories day .
=.=

i wouldn't you call ?
why no : are you okay ?
why no : i'll be here for you ?
don't you want to be a man idiot , this is your chance .
what you waiting for ?
ass .
you changed me for the worst .
thanks ah .
thank you so much la dey .
i am so grateful to you lei .
such a nice person you are .

woo i gave you 35 days .
you gave me 35 inches of sword to pierce right through my heart .
each day i give you ,
the sword grew longer ,
pierce deeper .
till a day , it stop beating .
thanks ah .
thankyou so much .

ya lohs . you are right .
you own the whole world lei .
whatever you say you think is correct .
you do whatever you think is right .
but fuck it la ,
you sure you right or not ?
you sure this is solution ah .
best lohs . you win .
you pay our pain with your happiness .
thanks ah .

smoking damn cool la .
cause it release stress ,
oh no wait , it understands you well .
yaya .
it talks to you at night .
it helps you when u cant solve ur maths sum .
it listen to u when u are sad .
it plays ji ko ba with you .
it let you scold .
it let you vent your anger on it .
i NEVER do it ma ,
gosh i lost to a cig lei dey ,
embarassing bodoh .

make sure one day ,
don't go to the state , that you have to lick the road .
cause is tar .
DUMBASS .

ya . it makes you happier when i suffer .
ya lohs . then carry on thinking i am alright .
cause ya , i cant live without food for so long de .
ya u are right .
thanks for making me starve for 3 god damn days ,
and fainted for tht few mins .
thanks ah .
ya lohs . fever that comes and goes ,
is NOT FEVER .
nothing de lahs .

if it makes you happier ,
then go on lohs .
i am nothing what .
thanks ah .
thanks so much lei dey .
i never been so happy in my life before .
haha . thanks ah .
thanks for making me smile again .
thanks ah .

i am happy la dey .
the very almighty seahshiyun lohs .
ya lohs .
the very lihai one lohs .
thanks ah dey .

time passed very fast today .
but well ,
to me everyday is the same .
waiting for the same old shit .

wake up , wait for dad ,
during assembly wait for lesson .
during lesson wait for recess .
during recess wait for school dismissal .
after school dismissal , wait for tutorial .
during tutorial , wait for it to end .
after it ends , wait for bus .
on the bus , cant wait to get home and SLEEP .
wake up , wait for dinner .
during dinner , wait for favourite tv drama series .
after that , wait for your online friends to chat with you .
after that . back to sleep .
and the waiting continues (:

yaya , is my pathetic life now la sio .
but i don't really care ah .
i don't even give a shit to what's happening around me .
okay .
i so want to get done with my o's .
jc or poly .
whatever .
it used to be jc .
but now , my brain seemed like it has stop functioning ,
and my spirit seems to be dead .
so a poly is fine .
biotech please .
(:

woo .
mt LC .
can la . sure make it one .
hahahah .
cheerios ! no more chinese .


whenever i see you ,
i saw dissapointments and terror
and a mixture of disgustment .
that's the reason for getting out of here .
caused i don't feel like facing you ,
and the fucking cb friends of yours .
you called those friends ?
people who hinder you from progressing?
hinder you to do what you love ?
and for that few minutes of shiok-ness ,
you exchanged it for a few hours of your life ,
the pain of your loves one .
is it worth it ?
i wonder what your fucking brain is thinking .
i wonder what my fucking brain is thinking .
the fucking you .
ccb .
i hate myself .

you fucking unds not ?
and oh please ,
your friend ALL got no fashion sense ,
and they dressed like fuck .
and what they do are small kids doing ,
which u think is uber cool .
gross la .

i fucking don't understand you anymore .
you are no longer who i know .
the once i greatly fall in love with .
you seemed so scary .
you drained my energy .
return it back to me ,
will you ?

在那么有限的生命中

能被所爱的人深深爱过

或许不该再奢求再怨什么

世上的遗憾本来就很多

在艰难的说了再见后

你真的不该再紧紧抱我

刚才还能体谅的放开你的手

不代表我就够坚强洒脱

我们曾有过一次幸福的机会

当玫瑰和诺言还没枯萎

别说抱歉我不后悔

曾经逆风和你一起飞

我们曾有过一次幸福的机会

似乎就要拥有爱的完美

你说别哭,我说不哭

然后我们都流下了眼泪

oh heavens .

these 2 days passed like a blink .
serious .
was serious so tired these 2 days .
feel so slack .
didn't touch my book at all .
tuition was half dead .
BUT BUT .
i finally know how to integrate area under graphs
like finally .
haha .
wooo .

and monopoly like totally rock la sio .
hahha .
okay .
oh please people ,
remember to dig your ear ,
tommorow gonna be the last paper for MT !
nice bodoh !
gonna be one subject down !


suicidal thoughts raced through my mind
once in a while ,
but i ain't that silly to commit it anyway .
i am like in slumber condition everyday .
never want to know the truth .
and the reality .
let's just run .

from last month ,
i dread to wake up everyday .
i wished i wouldn't wake up at all .
a new day , a new start ,
the old pain , the old ache .
is so dreadful .
i hate to face the day .

in the night , i loath the silence .
the darkness , the coldness .
the tears that kept on flowing ,
crying myself to sleep .
all to myself .

i hate everday that i exsist ,
cause is nothing but misery .

i am so grateful to my friend ,
every single one who help me .
even a "take care" was too true for me .
i thank them for that .
so much so much loves .

till , i have to repay them ,
i put on daily facade ,
i took my meals ,
i acted nonchalance to everything .
like as if i don't even care ,
but who knows ?
but still ,
is for them , is for me ,
lastly is for him too .
if i don't stay strong ,
then who's gonna be there for him when he needs someone ?
ME .

i no longer know who i am ,
what i am doing , what i am talking .
i do things for the sake of it ,
even is not necessary i just do it .
as much as i dislike it ,
i just do it .
no longer for the love for it .
i got no more drive .
so much that i cant even think properly .
making stupid decision everyday .

i get really high at times ,
and the other second i just get so down .
don't ask me why .
maybe i had got split personality .
really .

i had no determination to forget about this at all ,
but i got determination to help him .
that's all .

to me , you are not once a baby boy ,
caused in my eye ,
you are all a men should be .

i learnt alot from you too .
i finally know how to give ,
and not to take .
i gave in alot ,
like i never did before .
it was a learning for me .
i know to me this is going to be a fall ,
but to you it is a regret .

for now , i will wait till i enter a new world .
hope you can slow down to 130km/h
before i leave for a new world .
anytime .
loves (:

fuck it la sio .

fuck the migrane that comes and goes .
and when it comes ,
it drills right through the side of your head ,
like as if it's squeezing your brain .
then for awhile , it will go .
then it comes again .
fuck it la deyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy .

fuck the throat .
so itchy , i rather i got so much phlgem ,
that i cant talk .
rather having itchy throat ,
caused i cant stratch it .
urgh .

fuck the heartpain i am feeling .
is like ,
it comes and goes too .
sometimes i feel it sometimes i don't .
and after i feel it ,
i think about it .
then my mind will be full of thoughts again .
irritating .
i hate tues .
i hate it i hate it .
2 more days to 12th .
the day where i was announced dead .
gosh .
i didn't revive at all .

get me a pen and a notepad .
i am writing down my last will .

take care of yourself .
believe me .
towards you i had got no anger .
is only ,
concerns worries loves and misses .
trust me .
hope you'll change for the better .
loves <3

okay i heard this story .
i think is damn meaningful la SIO .

there is this couple ,
who believed in god .
they had this son , who is very defiant .
he loves to do road racing .
the parent became very worried for their child .
so they pray to the godness ,
to seek for protection for their child .
one day , the child died in the road race .
the couple was very angry .
they were full of resentment .
they was so angry with the god , so they went to reapproach the god .
they asked : why didn't you take care of my child ? and protect him ?!
the god replied : your child was racing at a speed of 180km/hour ,
and the fastest i could go is 140km/hour ,
if your child doesn't want to accept any help
from the others , no amount of help will help him ,
even the greatest god wouldn't help .

same goes to you . if you don't even accept yourself ,
how do you expect people to accept you .
you can do it . believe in youself .
you are not like that , then don't try to be one .
be the old you , and accept it ,
then people will accept you .

loves .
trust me .
we'll all help and accept you .
i love you for who you are .
(:

GOSHHHHHHHHH .
i saw 11.11
the time .
yesyes .
someone is missing me .
WOOOO .
aiseh ,
make my day bodoh .

come to think of it , my birthday is also 1111 ,
which means ,
everyday there must be someone missing me .
COOL .

hahahahaha .
okay i am really happy right now .

i hoped it was you loves .
<3>

AISEH !
changed my blogskin .
nice ah dey .
i love it .
hahahahha .

i want to upload song ,
but can't .
nehmind .
i'll ask leongie for help .
((:

gazed up to the sky ,
saw many stars . and is so BRIGHT
make me wana sing " twinkle twinkle little stars "
hahas .
so nice .
actually i had one on my bag ,
was from christophertankoonhou .
the super retarded partner of mine .
he "PLUCKED" it down for me .
retarded isnt it ?
(:

well .
i hoped i can get into my lubberland .
where everything goes fine .
nice . sweet . loves .
everything nice .
ahhhhhhh .

2 more days to a month .
so hell , i had been living in hell for so long .
and gosh .
it hurts so much .
waseh ,
i rather faced physical pain ,
than emotional and mental pain .
cause it sucks la .
WASEH .
see it starts again .
owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww .

" how i wonder how you are "
are you alright ?
everything's fine ?
i'll be here to help you .
believe me alright ?

long as i'll be living my baby you'll be .
understand ?
<3

waseh .
i don't understand human man .
why can't people give and take ?
sometimes , we don't reap what we sow .
it depends .
for some things it don't .
so we can't expect to get something in return ,
when we give out alot .
sometimes , is about the process ,
about the effort you put in .
about , have you given your best .
but at the end of the day ,
will you get what in return ,
is still a bigbig question .

it always depend on situation one what .

waseh .
i don't know la .
sometimes , i want to be happy .
but , there will also be this devil inside my heart ,
squashing everything .
my heart will just feel the sudden pain .
so painful that i cant describe it .
serious man .

every night i dream man .
be it whoever , whatever .
i just dream la sio .
don't know why .

and and and m
is so difficult to fall sick .
nabuay .
damn it .
DAMN IT SIO .

anyway , stuying history for my test .
((:
wish me luck dey .

you are the one filling my mind now ,
how can i let go .
but WHAT'S THE POINT LA DEY .
you don't want it .
knnbpcb .
so much emotions left within me .
and you don't bother to take it away .
fuck it la sio

went tuition .
woo integration rocks .
like finally i know how to do
XD

then went swimming .
fun bodoh .
we really swam .
kinda tiring .
hahhahha .
bathed , and offed to tm .
for er , zinger
^^
nice nice .
waseh .
my eye damn pain SIO .
left eye .
kept twiting non stop ,
and and the juice .
waaa . pain bodoh .
leong suggested to dig it out ,
and wash it .
aiseh . not bad ah .
:D


i wished that sentence was true .
when i saw it ,
my heart sunk .
somehow i know , i still cant get over .
i thought i did .
anyway , many lucks to you .
hope you can get it through .
loves .
<3

SCREAM !!! FRIDAY .
omgod . this week past so fast la dey .
and i believe this is the DAY everyone is waiting for ,
well , at least for me .

today , had to wrapped the stupid table ,
and ahhahahha , i think it looks much more messy than before .
well , still can vandalise on plastic what .
hahs .
anyway , that really makes me damn irritated ,
that i start to doddle on the table top .
and it sucks la . damn ugly .
well , forget it .

went home earlyyyyyyyyyyyy .
didn't want to go for band ,
but well , seems like is wasted ,
SHOULD HAVE GO .
well nehmind .
slept for 5 hours .
shiok la dey .
but had so much disturbance ,
my hp kept ringing ,
damn irritated .
argh .

i get easily irritated these few days .
don't ask me why .
no mense .
not yet .
HAHA .
if mense come , i don't what mood will i be in man .
oh yea ...

ohgod .
i still feel the pain .
the pain that dwell deep deep inside .
i'm still shinning for you .
till you absorb . (:

okay , my appetite is slightly back .
oh yea .
i finally bought canteen's food ,
nuggets and oheya .
like finally , after so long .
(:

okay , my collar bone sucks .
is like so damn bloody obvious .
and is so like gross .
cause it kinda jerk out .
hahs .
and yea , me and leong going swimming this sat .
woo .

my ass and wasit hurt like fuck .
cause of the vigorous netball "MATCH"
i had on tuesday .
my ass hurts so much , that it affect my thigh ,
and affect my walking .
and i was limping on tuesday .
hahaha .


these thoughts run through my head ,
over and over again .
i saw the photo ,
somehow , my hear sunk .
i heard many opinions ,
so many that i can't make up my mind which is for you .
if i hold on too tight ,
then you will not like it .
if i let loose , then you might get lost .

D : he knows people are caring for him ,
but more the people cared , the more rebellious he want to be ,
the more he want to show people that he can do more bad things .
he craved for attention , some attention that might go real wrong .
caused no attention , he might seek for more ,
too much attention , he would want to prove more .

S : at this stage , boys will be like that . they woudn't want to feel
inferior infront of their girl . that is not a boy would wants to feel .
moreover , you had taken care for him so long , he should know how to walk
himself already . let him walk .
he will tends to seek for things he wants from his friend who he think is cool ,
which he cant find from his girl .

i'll see how long you can run ?
is no way to run forever , someday you'll have to stop ,
but i'm afraid , one when you stop , and start running back ,
you wouldn't find me there .
then , i'm sorry .
for now , my heart , mind and soul is still with you .
as long as i'll be living my baby you will be .
(:

my studies seriously dropped alot .
i don't know what's wrong with me .
my amaths , in class i could do .
but at home , everything seemed stucked .
is like , i know , but then again i don't know .
is rather contradicting .

then i thought about both my chinese paper and oral .
well , i seemed to be kind of happy after the paper and oral ,
which means i wouldn't do well ?
haha . is everytime like that .
but i thought , i spoke rather fluently and the conversation was not bad .
cause i did managed to make the examiner said a good .
and my compo and ppr 2 ,
is like er ... i don't know .

now is no longer a pass or a fail ,
is the matter of clinching a A1 or B3 .
well , is o's . there should be no contentment .
we should work for more ,
and expect more from ourselves .
tht's how we achieve isnt it .

frankly speaking ,
i had already put down all my responsibilities .
everything .
band , relationship , family , friendship .
whatever .
i no longer have all these problems now .
is like ,
i'm on good terms with my friends ,
i made new friends ,
i catched up with my old friends .

by right , i should feel happy ,
and go on with my life and studies .
but somehow , i can't .

i lost a thing , i gained many things .
i gained a thing , i lost many things .
so which should i choose .
something which benefits me , or him ?
i don't know too .
all i hope , is my drive to be back .
cause i know ,
everyday , i am making myself busy , tired ,
so i can sleep well .
but i know , my health and emotion are no longer that strong .
i will and is a sure i will breakdown someday .
is only a matter of time .

to all my understanding of things that are likely to happen ,
i don't seemed to do anything to stop it .
well , i jsut cant get over it isn't it .
hahs .
till the day i stop believing .

well .
i choose it . i choose to wait i choose to help .
i should bear the consequences ,
the pains the sufferings the waiting .
is only 3 weeks , is easy to turn bad within 3 mins ,
but to change for the better , it might take years .
all the humilations confidence he needs to have is tremendous .
but i can choose not to wait . is my choice .
well , i will wait .
i will carry on with my life .
study and everything , but still carry on waiting
for him to change .
yea (:

lets strive !
hope so .

aiyah fuck la .
i used up all my energy today .
shiok shiok shiok .
i make myself damn tired .
yesyesyes .

okay fuck la .
my emaths class test .
wapiang .
nabuay !
i see wrongly man .
2 questions somemore .
they want QS , i find ps .
they wan degree , i find length .
wtfuck la dey .
damn pekchek pekchek pekchek .

must you really wait till ,
i faint , i die , i got no more energy to help you ,
then you'll believe that , i still believe in you ?
by then it'll be too late ,
caused i realised , i am no longer as strong as the past .

if the plant , doesn't want sunlight , water , minerals and carbon dioxide ,
then what can we do ?
we wana enter you , don't wan to absorb ,
and strongly refused to believe that , we are presence here .
then i am also feeling so helpless .
is all up to you la dey .
so many essential needs you need ,
are around you ,
you don't want ,
then who can force you ?
sunshine can only wait ,
and keep giving out energy ,
but keep giving out ,
is very tiring .
is energy you know ?

fuck la .
all the pest clouds whatever .
you liked it stick with it .
when you don't like it ,
then absorb the sunlight .
sun will never dropped .
never ever will .

back from swimming .
okay , fever still swim ?!
who cares .
ahahah .
XD

had yoshinoya ,
didn't finish ,
is like first time lahs dey .
i remember those times ,
you forced yourself to eat
that bowl of beef rice .
it pierced me right through ,
now you don't have to .

fuck SIO .
tommorrow , chinese o's oral .
woo . sure can make it want .
aiseh , confidence sio .
hahaha .
but should be okayokay .
well , can't wait to clear this shit up .
and can't wait for august result .
and can't wait for october 22 ,
amaths paper one .

yes . is already second of july . wooo .
3 more moth and 20 more days .
out of this school ,
out of this memories ,
out of everything .
now is still ,
holding on to .
silly me XD
but i likeeeeeeeeeee .
:D

i heard this song - dayu .
verd olddddddddddddddd song ,
but i LIKEEEEEE .
cause is damn nice la dey .
XD


i still believe that ,
one day you'll turn back .
even not to me ,
but to the way you suppose to be .
i know you , the real you .
evil you will soon be gone .
(: