why is something better left unsaid? till now know, i dont get why. why the fuck , how the fuck is it better? is like, god gave us brain and mouth, to talk and fucking speaking out for ourselves man. then why the fuck cant some people make use of it. hate it know.

actually these people very very annoying isnt it? ok, maybe is im just too dumb to understand all these ah. yes, still thinking about it, but whats the fucking point?!

cant believe i have to attend school tomorrow! so sad damn sad fucking sad motherfucking sad.
i think i really want to finish up my model making. and just get a pass will do. and i know is gonna pull my gpa down badly. oh god, i want a new module please!! get this over and done with, meanwhile, i cant wait to do my TLD! but i think is gonna be so fucking tiring again. hope we can do it in time! :D im gonna go school early tomorrow! wa, responsible student siaxxzxzxzzxz

had been doing lots of thinkings lately, again. so yea, very bad for mental health. idk why but, it just cant stop, all those, 'maybe','ya should be','must be','oh no! dont tell me...'.
well, i want to meet a magical thing/stuff/dog/insect/ANYTHING, so it can grant me wishes. why cant my life turn out like a fairytale? like something i really want. :( i realise is gonna be a year soon, and everything feels like yesterday.

back from malaysia. bus journey was surely long and slow. the sky was filled with stars man i swear. is damn beautiful ah! oh god. i would spend my life forever under sky like this. :D

ok trip was fun not that bad, nothing to buy. lol. quite exciting ah the trip.
and i love my family :D:D


fuck all of you ah, nobody tag me lo! nb. lol, very difficult to click on much loves meh?~

I can tell by your eyes that youve probbly been cryin forever,
And the stars in the sky dont mean nothin to you, theyre a mirror.
I dont want to talk about it, how you broke my heart.
If I stay here just a little bit longer,
If I stay here, wont you listen to my heart, whoa, heart?

If I stand all alone, will the shadow hide the color of my heart;
Blue for the tears, black for the nights fears.
The star in the sky dont mean nothin to you, theyre a mirror.
I dont want to talk about it, how you broke my heart.
If I stay here just a little bit longer,
If I stay here, wont you listen to my heart, whoa, heart?
I dont want to talk about it, how you broke this ol heart.

If I stay here just a little bit longer,
If I stay here, wont you listen to my heart, whoa, heart?
My heart, whoa, heart.


happy advance CNY :D loves to all, you. not?

wa, sickening, just before my trip, i am having soar throat and flu. nb. damn annoying man.
then again, im not really looking foward to my trip, LOL. cause knowing the fact that, many assignments to hand in after CNY just kills all the mood. it is damn depressing i swear. :(

and eh! why noone tag me. please la tag ME lei. ask my stuffs like, how to get to the nearest mrt station, or you and your bf quarrel what should you do, or what should you buy for your bf, or anything ah!!! HAHAHA.

my sis told me that, the world will comes to an end when,
1. everyone lives in pegion hole(HDB)
2. sudden climatic change(wind now fucking strong)
3. slave becomes leader(recent election)

wah, imagine right after i post this, then the sky collapse. WOOHOO.
scary, idw to die yet, hmm, maybe not.
OH WELL. like the saying goes, eat well stay fit die anyway. wah wah how true. so everyone, get.a.life. do something meaningful rather than wasting time, acting famous, doing shits and getting fuck by people. LIVE YOUR DAMN FUCKING LIFE, LIKE REALLY LIVE IT.

i need my esteem and motivation and self entertainment back.
please please please please.

i hope everyone will be fine :D

wonder whats up with all these sudden moodswings, and sudden detest of projs. well, totally had no god damn idea why am i feeling all these now, oh crap. every morning, the world just seems to be devoid of hopes, and there goes the cycle again. and when i'm feeling like this, i just hate to go to sleep, knowing the fact, i have to face the next day again with humanzxzs around me, sickening. just feeling like being alone in a deserted space with someone by my side. yet, its impossible! annoyingggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg. :( these few days had been pretty mundane for me, probably cause of the lack of motivation and much procrastination. oh well.
did i mention that i love gangster bus driver?
gangster = reckless = fast and furious= short and exciting trip to school.
wimps should just grow some ballzxz.
ok, i absolutely had no idea what i just said, bye.

oh come on, i need more love!

And the real happiness is to see you smile truely once again.

idw to wait for a lifetime. argh.
what's happening to me?


kill these thoughts, please.

very reluctant to do alot of things now? i have got two more assignments on hand and i dont feel like doing it at all. idk why either. lack of motivation i guess. :(

HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

and idk why. :(

Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
It's hard for you to let go of a negative feeling, but it can be a clean break from the past once you finally do. Today, as the Sun enters progressive Aquarius, you have a rare opportunity to see what's been holding you back. Don't be afraid to take a quantum leap into your future, even if it still takes a few more days for the shift to ripple through your soul.

I dont do patience. i have no patience at all.

finally i cut my nails! so nomore "eh! why your nails like that ah?" or "lazy bitch, please cut your nails". lol. and and and and and and and i am a happy kid! woohoo. ok assignments to be done. :(
a moment of happiness.

No school on friday, went to pay respect to my grandma, and realise it was already her 100th day of death. time pass so fast, it seems like she is still here with us, sleeping in the same room as me, having to take care of her in the night. everything felt like as if it happened yesterday. many things happen. a pity ahma can never enjoy her peace, whenever all of us get to meet together. nomore peace and laughters, there's always much quarrellings and all. idk why either. is it true cause grandma is gone so we ain't that close anymore? i always feel that after ahma is gone, something is like missing sigh.ahma is like the pillar for all of us, and now when the pillar is gone, everything just collapse. ever since the cremation day, nothing went really well. im sorry ahma, rest well up there ok? loves.
THEN I!
went over to jon's dad place to stayover. lol. we had couple of drinking games, however there wasn't enough alcohol to make all of us high! anti-climax, but then again there's always louis there to make all of us you know, 'high' enough. lol. i swear everyone was targeting him like mad, he wasnt dumb either, everytime he needs to drink, he act drunk, and fell asleep. LOL. his expression is simply priceless. hahahahaha.
after those drinking games, we had this dare or dare game. simply gross to the max, and i seriously think all of them has gay tendency. hahaha! but it was seriously funny, painful and erotic. was it? lol.
we received complaints from the neighbourhood, police came and gave us warning. lol, glad that all of us were sober enough to attend to them. slept at like 6 in the morning woke up at 12? jon's dad bought lunch for us, and he is really a nice guy! lol. very funny and loveable. now i know why jonathan is like this! like father like son. oh well!
cabbed back and slept all the way till like 11 plus. missed weelyn's party and didnt accompany dad for dinner. :( so sad, i felt bad. and i love my dad.

i want to shop :( :( :(
what do you do when your want is stronger than your needs and is overpowering everything?
i want to sleep.


baby, i'm a want you, baby, i'm a need you.
when will it happen!? :)

i realise when you see the world with a lousy vision and everything looks damn blurry might not be a bad thing! cause ugly guys become handsome, and handsome guy just appears to be more handsome! woohooo. not bad not bad.
and i damn lucky! i got selected for the visit to HOWA!, architecture flim. am i lucky or what! what more i was the first one that got selected!! hahaha

argh, idk why but it feels like a friday to me.
i think i am not into proj's mood yet, not for now. model makings are making me damn annoyed by myself. like why the fuck i just cant do it, and normally you know, i dont give a fuck about it, yet now i feel so piss off. it's like im a failure, and the thought of failing and having to retake this elective just make it worst. and what more, i retried so many times :(
lyss is having an alumni band?! well, contemplating to join or not, but i seriously dont feel like going back loyang anymore. i dont want to have anything to do with it. so i think i shall give it a miss. what more i am very busy with school, in addition to the competition im participating in, i cant get any busier than that. i.need.life.well.
just finished my dotting shit whatever you called it, i think it looks fugly though. it not what i expected to be. maybe sometimes i am just not capable of my own expectation of myself, yet i am demanding for it. wtf is wrong with me.

and wtf is wrong with him!?

haoyee says:
FUCK FUCK FUCK
WHY UR FACE SO FREAKING BIG(my dp)
LOUIS DARDAR IYEE LURBB EU SHO MUCHIEZ, MWAUCKSZ. says:
WHAT
fat ma
haoyee says:
MAKES ME ANGRY
LOUIS DARDAR IYEE LURBB EU SHO MUCHIEZ, MWAUCKSZ. says:
i become damn fat, cannot meh.

lol, annoying.

dk why but is super windy nowadays. random.


i wish i could get back to the first day i saw you.
and i whisper these words while you are lying down by my side,
ily, please say you love me too.
till the end of time.

Leave me out with the waste, this is not what I do. It's the wrong kind of place to be thinking of you. It's the wrong time for somebody new. It's a small crime and I've got no excuse. Is that alright? Give my gun away when it's loaded. Is that alright? If u don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it. Is that alright? Give my gun away when it's loaded, Is that alright with you?

been thinking alot lately, and wonder when will the right one appear, sigh. i want to give it a try again.

woah, i didnt get to gym today cause i was damn lazy. so i went over leong's place, then to pp. after dinner went over nigel's place. i swear what the three of them said make me think alot. especially jonathan uh. lol. what's the concept of money to me? why cant i save money? why cant i be more independent in daily life? idk. i should learn. be more thrifty. shouldnt spend money like anyhow, and eat simple and cheaper food! dont waste food. dont waste money on stuffs idw!
look at this, if i can cut down on the money i spend on food, not only i can save money but also slim down! wa awesome shit!
maybe im just damn lazy to do things on my own, i doubt is the capability, is it? lol IDK!!! but i am damn lazy an impatient ah, i seriously dont have any patience with myself, oh well. but i really want to get more clothings. well, HOW?! i shall see how. :) slowly and take a step at a time. im still young aint i?! idw to be 18 :(
can i even survive on my own nottttttttttt, woah looks tough but interesting! :D

Gotta make it alright, gotta seek it tonight.
you're the reason i knew.

thanks leong for helping me with my stuffs.
finally get to suana after so long, and need my gym badly tomorrow! :D


lastly, you're a total turn off. thanks.

oh man. i need to start on my poster stuffs and all but fucking lazy to get materials as usual. argh. phone making is seriously pissing me off! fucking hell. no matter how hard i tried i still cant make a fucking flip phone. omg. i retried like a thousand already man. and what if i dont get A which i dont think i will. well done. ARGH! damn pissssssssssssssssssssssssssssss D:

nowadays, i always feel so sleepy! idk why too, so annoying, omggggggg. i want to go shopping, but i am damn lazy to get out of the house. :( idk why i am feeling so lethargic, suddenly the drive for this sem is goneeeeeeeeeeeee. woohoo. ok i cant wait for my KL trip, i need to unwind man. hoho!
walao eh, what's the missing feeling huh? i cant figure it out.

I R D K W I N L S M. I F T I A M T L F A I W I B T. Y N I G I T M. I I C I A U? F? S? I D K. I T I R N G T G M S T W L M, I D W T L A T G K W. I W T M S T L M S M N, A B I A S R W H, A L F. S T L C A T. P, T I A I B O Y, T I W B T H G A. :)

then again, 09 seems to be another long way to go. everything over again. can he grant my little wish please? sigh.

feel so slack, tired, i just want to sleep. argh. projs and more projs. elective is like dnt. totally the same. wahhhhhh, reminds me of secondary 2 period, lol. me and leong, damn killer man! but it was all fun. and now is 09 already, fucking fast and furious. lol. nowadays always having weird dreams, nb. this post is totally random and no link.

11:11 once more.

when i lose myself i think of you.

awesome school day, but then director's talk sucks big time. its too draggy, and it doesnt make any sense. slept and slept in school. woah, damn tired. anyway, model making seems to be quite slack, so no worries till the end of month!


just fuck everything that is in your way now. woohoo

WOAH, i actually didnt sleep the whole night, superb or what. ok got to go get ready for school, and attend some stupid talk and then all the way till 9pm at night. is gonna be a fucking long day, hope it would be a fucking awesome day too. oh well. :)

anyway, i seriously miss sec school life, at this time my dad would be sending me to school, reach school and all. lol. it has been so long since i woke up at 6 plus to shower and all know to school. as much as i detest the minimal sleep, i still enjoy the hours in sec school. sigh, i seriously dw to grow up, and i wish i dont. i wish i can stay at sec 3 all the way. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

i wouldnt go home without you.

The Scorpion is one intense little creature, with enough poison in its own tail to disable or kill a much larger opponent. But the problem with this kind of built-in biological weaponry is that it must be mastered in order to be used most effectively. You Scorpios can use your "stinger" for self-defense, using your powerful emotional awareness to render your opponent harmless. But there is a sexual component of poisonous tail also, and until you learn to control those strong urges, you may find yourself in uncomfortable situations.Scorpio is the only sign that has three animal totems. First, there is the well-known Scorpion with its active tail. Second, as the Scorpio learns to master its passion and hold its instincts at bay, it changes into the Eagle. The Eagle has more perspective, for it flies high above the surface of circumstances, swooping down with its power only to kill prey for food. In its third form, the Scorpion becomes the always-peaceful dove. The real meaning of Scorpio is thus shown. Scorpio is about metamorphosis. Scorpios transform the painful poisons of possessive passion into a higher consciousness based on universal love.Your motto might be "What is hidden is more interesting than what is obvious." You are the detectives of the zodiac. Your magnetic personality draws others to you. But you can also be secretive yourself, for you learn early on that when you express everything, others may be scared by the power of your feelings. You desperately want to have someone to merge with your feelings, but can become cold and withdrawn when hurt in love. You have the magic to light up the dark, but sometimes you would benefit by looking at the positive side of things rather than going into the darkness at all.
Element: WaterAstrologically, the water element symbolizes emotion. Water runs deep; it seeks its own level and will flow until it has found it. The cycle of water is endless with the snows falling in the mountains and melting. The mountain streams join to make the great rivers that run to the sea. The tides and currents churn the oceans. Similarly, our feelings are flowing as they connect the present with past experiences. Sometimes the waters are so deep that we cannot put words to our feelings.The water of Scorpio is fixed and frozen, but it is a mistake to think that ice doesn't flow. It does flow -- and with great power. Think of a glacier, moving so very slowly, yet with enough power to flatten a forest or even a mountain.

wahhhhhhhhh, close to youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~
cant stop singing the song man! oh yea, bro baked cheese prawns for me. damn tasty! simple yet tasty. woohoo. ok happyand satisfied. dad's in indo now, and there's earthquake. we cant get through him and i am kinda worried now. not long ago, i dreamt of him coming home, please let the dream come true. to be honest, as much as idw him to come home so soon, i still want to see my daddy. sigh. ka kin deng lai la papa.
i tell you this month damn killer man! i have lesson from 6pm to 9pm everyday. siao. model making somemore. hope it will be fun, more of screaming and laughing using those machines! lol. :D is good in some way, cause i can get to not think about many stuffs that had been bothering me for months. somehow, i have many thoughts in my mind, but i cant link them up, it just doesnt telly. i really yearn for it, but i just cant get it. why? maybe is fate. oh well.
feel me please. argh

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO COMMENT ON ME OR EVEN GIVE A PASSING REMARK. YOU ARE NOBODY TO ME, SO PLEASE STFU. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, NOT SAY YOU ARE FUCKING MATURE TO FUCKING COMMENT ON ME. YOU THINK YOU ARE SO FUCKING AWESOMELY GREAT, THEN LET THESE WORDS SLAM HARD ON YOUR FUCKING FACE, JUST FUCK THE SHIT OFF. I FUCKING DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK WHETHER WHAT YOU'LL THINK UPON SEEING THIS FANTASTIC POST, FUCKING HELL DONT FUCKING PUSH YOUR LUCK.

awww, it feels great to just vent your anger out like this isnt it? and the best thing is, noone will knows who you are refering to, even if its to someone you dont know, amazing but true. lol. i ain't angry nor agitated, cause for fuck!? lol, like i give a flying fuck about you, or what you said. is not gonna stop me! hell no. :D but then again, it does irks me off, nothing much, just your fuckface. whether if its what i think, is my own fucking mentality! woohoo, so what?

Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.

That is why all the girls in town
Follow you all around.
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.

That is why all the girls in town
Follow you all around.
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
Just like me (Just like me)
They long to be
Close to you.

Wahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.
Wahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.
Hahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.
Lahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.

lets skip all those depressing killing thoughts and to the happier side, went over to nigel's house after that! play i never again, but this time round i wasn't high/drunk, cause i drank damn little ah. i swear im not gonna drink or touch alcohol after school reopen till godknowswhen. :D after that, slacked and chatted with jon and ivan, was somewhat very nice, and we were all very honest and all. lol. knew many things that were damn shocking, lol. anyway, then we went back, then they started to sleep, and i coudnt sleep. so stay awake the whole night, till morning, took a cab home and sleep.
alex woke me up, and asked if im going for the gathering, so i went to bath and met alex at my block. off we went to mr han's place. hahaha. very nice decorated and all. was nice to meet my classmates again, though not all were present. mr han treated all of us dinner and here i am.
ok, i think i am damn fucking tired, and idk why i typed so much happenings. damn uncomfortable now. ok bye! lol

oh yes, it's 2009 already, first day of the year. and im having mense!! hahaha. first day of new year, lucky or what!
anyway, having a bad hangover with mense sucks, it kinda sucks for a new year but then! i had a great night/day ah, so it doesnt matter.
let's make some pointless new year resolution!:
#1- put more effort in my course
#2- be more patient towards myself/own work
#3- be more hardworking
#4- continue gym, *i stopped for 2 weeks already lo! nb.
#5- be more sensible. :D

though i know i wouldnt really do it but i hope ill try to follow it. :D happy new year loves!