what's up with having a blog and not blogging!?
what's up with little girl trying to be mature, and not say you are very mature.
what's up with people trying to act rich?
what's up with human trying to be nice?
what's up with the world?

ACTUALLY EVERYBODY VERY FUCK UP AH.

omg cant believe it, 09 in one day time? wtf, seriously is damn fast ah! but anyway, i sort of love it ah. lol. but i hope 09 will be a better year ahead.

08 was a cock ah, love lost, life lost, joy gone, friend lost, wealth lost, health lost, one thing i gain is, FATS AH! lol, super bad! nb! i seriously look foward for 09 since it such a bad 08 for me, but on the brighter side, i met a bunch of good friends! not forgetting PBJ! :D i hope my luck and everything will get better in 09 please. that's all, lol.

but then again, everything gonna start once more. it isnt a fantastic idea but then, why not? hahs. as time flies i realise i'm closer to being an adult, into the society and fight for my own survival. i dont want it, it's like killing and hurting, i dont like it. but then again, world's like that, the best one lives, and the weakest get eliminated, WOAH! so scary. lol.

i want a humorous and happy boyfriend like chenhandian, so i can laugh like mad everyday!WOOHOO.

Finally get to eat my porraidge with salted eggggggggggggggggggg :D idk why but it has been very long since i have a simple meal, like really simple. and sometimes simplicity is the best, unlike human minds which are always so complex. what's the use? :)

bbq later on, OH WELL.

feeling.so.much.better.after.passing.out.all.the.alcohol.cheers! :D

think im down with fever and flu already. fuck it. i want to sleep. bye.

cant believe im still at my friends house. both nigel and ivan is sleeping like pig! and i feel so bad cause i totally forgot that i've got to buy and prepare bbq stuffs for monday! lol. but! i have awesome and sexy classmate who helped me and yea everything is solve! thankssssssssssssssssss :D
tomorrow is bbq! so excited. sexy joey gonna cook sexy spag lei. woohooo. then we gonna get high and cycle around singapore ah! damn exciting! lol.
lol, played i never, quite fun. was damn childish ah, just sabo-ing people to drink thats all. lol.

i feel like having porraidge and salted egg when i get home. think i'll cook :D i want to go home alreadyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :(

"Isnt it easier to hate than to love? i think is better to hate more than love"

my friend asked me this, i feel that is a very easy yet intricate question. no, how am i suppose to answer to that. it keeps me pondering if that makes sense. and somehow, it makes me hate myself. cause i dislike alot of people, i get disgusted by those people to the core, but i cant hate them. cant make myself to hate them so much, that it will leads to murder. you know. and love comes so easily, even not those love love, but the normal love. you express love so easily and freely. how bout when you feel hatre? how do you express hatre? giving the person a hardtime? then so what? what do you achieve then?

'dislike = mild hatre, mild hatre leads to hate, lastly, hate leads to murder.'
do you really think so? i think over growing of love leads to hate. explosive of emotions lead to hate. but there must be something so impactful that you will hate a person a lifetime, so why not just forget it.

is not some technical terms and defination we are talking and facing here. is not who's right and who's wrong, what's the state of the society now, and how bad human nature is nowadays. is about emotions and spiritual kind of feeling. what do you believe in, and lastly can you answer your own conscious?

and i dont get how my mindset gets going? i dont understand the determination that's in me all along. i dont want it. i want to dump it. you know, to get rid of the old cheese is the best way of finding a new cheese. but im not finding any. i still prefer the old cheese better than all those new cheeses. i cant stand the jealousy in me. is pissing me off so badly. maybe i just dw to lose out, that's all.

how about those different mindsets around? it's hard to believe how a person can ruin themselves just like this. with all those stupid silly reasons they CAME out with just to make life miserable for them, people around them and anything. to find an excuse that, hey its not me, it's..... THAT! ya right, sure. go on. get a life. everytime it's that that make you fail, but you didnt realise that you are a failure all along, cause you fail to see yourself, to realise your own mistakeSSS and fucking got no ball to admit it. realise that you hate yourself so much that you are giving yourself a hardtime by doing all these, and the root of hatre is cause you used to adore yourself so much, thinking that you a damn fucking genuis, fucking good looking, but nobody seems to see it, so you find that(s) to cover up for you. and that's why life is so miserable for you.

plz.go.suck.a.enormous.ballz.argh
not refering to the friend that asked me is to those others.

woah, spent the whole day with sis! damn awesome ah, no! is beyond awesome, bywesome. lol.
much lovessssssssssssssssss :D

next sem will be hardcore shit! new modules, elective and CDS! anyway thans guanguan!(LOL) for helping me with the application, and guiding me ah. i damn noob in this shit.

gonna pack my room soon, mom has been nagging, like what's new, but prolong naggings make me happy! lol, but there's a limit to happiness ah. and and and and, i want to paint a potrait on my wall! i think i can do it lo please, since im so sexy. lol

class bbq this coming monday! then going night cycling with peeps! going around singaporeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :)) damn excited ah! :D:D:D:D

eh fuckface, go.fuck.ballz.bye.

pbj came to visit and fuck my pet! wtf! so damn piss off! i thought pet society is safe and innocent.

woah, i cant recall i actually blogged that! lol. did i? oh well. anyway had fun yesterday and today. so glad that i was feeling good and quite awake for my family xmas gathering. LOL. :D
ok, merry xmas to all again! have fun and lovesssssssssssssssss :D

you have your own life, and i havemy own path and destination :D

WOOHOOOO. MERRY X'MASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
IM AT W'S HOUSE AND IS FEELIGN HIGH. OK NOT REALLY.
I HAD FUN WITH LEONG AND ALL. AND I LOVE MYSELF.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE MYSELF. THANKYOU.
IAM DAMN PRETTY AND SEXY. IM BETTER THAN YOU MOTHERFUCKER.
NBCB

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pissesmeoffsobadlyifindnoreasonforthosedecisionsmadeandiamveryannoyedwithallthedisgustingvow
youevermadeionlyhopethatshestheoneandwilltreatyouevenbetterthanidoandgoonlovinghermorethan
youdidlasttimecauseithinkishouldnotgiveafuckandiwillnotgiveafuckcauseifuckinggotbetterthingstodo
thereshallbenomoresuchstuffsandipromiseiwillnoteventhinkofyoualreadywoooofuckoffyouhearme

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idkwhyimfeelinglikethiswalaoehfuckfuckfuckfuckgoanddielamakesmemorehappyseriously
nomorehopesnomorefalsehopes

fuck her till she dies please. thankyou.
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IM DAMN PISS THIS FUCKING MOMENT. I DONT UNDERSTAND AND IDW TO LOSE. I FUCKING DW TO LOSEEEEEEEEEE.

woah, xmas in 2 days time. which means 2009 is coming soon. many said 2008 wasnt a very good year, lets hope 2009 would be better. idk why im blogging at this hour, like afternoon? couldnt carry on sleeping anymore, oh well. feeling damn lazy to drag myself out of the house. but still have to do it.
idk how im feeling right now. have the sudden urge to pen down what im feeling. but when im on this page, everything seems to stuck. i want to say idw 2009 to come so soon, cause it means i'll be one year older soon! and maybe i dont want to accept the fact that everything was over for so many months. then again, i wish time would pass faster, like really damn fast. i just want the only thing that i dont have right now, something which is missing. maybe im just not contented with everything. i should look at the brighter side of life. but how many time in life can human always live in self denial saying, please look at the brighter side of life, when you know is all facade. people who most probably say that, bottle up their feelings, fake a smile, try to tell others you can do it, but at the end of the day, you realise everything is still in you. and at some point of time in life, it comes haunting you then you conquer it, press it all down again, and the next day begin again. and why cant my wishes come true? why cant i live in my own world? why can't i have things going my way? why cant you just fucking grow up, and how the fuck did you manage to put it all down.

NO, im not depress, just my feelings.
time to eat veg, bath and off i go.

Somehow i feel that we look like lesbian here. lol. pictures taken during stayover! :D

spab concert was great! love the omens of love, though it was a much different version? oh well. i think ws sucks shit. everytime i am there, i cant help but to get damn disgusted. if i can i will bomb the place. after concert waited for sx, was seating along the riverside, saw many white balls! and one of it is mine! woohoo. ate and went home. :)

to think i still think of it, and why should i even bother? i really dont know why, dont tell me its all coming back, hate it when it happens.

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHHAHA.
he looks so fucking serious. cant stand it. climax, 1:28-1:29!

i cooked my own dinner! boiled brocoli, mushroom and smoked salmon! i cook one lei! hoho. :D:D im going healthy and fit, tyty.

there's many things i wana say to you, but idk how.

',?!.'

A dialogue.
makes me want to ask more.
didnt understand anymore.
scold vulgarities.
period.
end of dialogue.

Like a process.

NEVER ATTEMPT THE COOK YOUR OWN DINNER. LOL. NOT ONLY IT'S EXPENSIVE, TROUBLESOME, ITS ALSO VERY BORING. HAHAHAHA. I WILL NEVER COOK AGAIN. STAYOVER WAS AWESOME, NEED I SAY MORE?
OH YES, I WISH FOR MANY WISHES ON A WHITE BALLOON, AND HOPEFULLY IT WILL COME TRUE. WAHAHAHA. SANTA PICK MY BALLOON OK! ;D

I'M GOING FOR VEG MEAL FROM TOMORROW ONWARDS, NO/LITTLE MEAT AND MORE VEG AND FRUITS PLEASE. SOUNDS STUPIDANDFUN BUT YES IM GONNA DO IT. LOOSE WEIGHT, ANYTHING JUST TO LOOSE WEIGHT.

BBQ FOR EVD, ALL THESE PEOPLE ARE PISSING ME OFF QUITE BADLY, AS IN THOSE WHO DOESNT PICK UP THEIR DAMN PHONE, I SWEAR WHEN I SEE YOU THE NEXT TIME IM GONNA IRRITATE YOU TILL YOU DIE. THOSE WHO SEE THIS, SAY HI PRETTY TO ME ON MSN, ESPECIALLY D AND YUNXI.

argh, why do i even bother? like why the fuck did i even let it invaded me and take over my whole mind. it's me afterall, i feel so annoyed now. everytime i alight at that stupid stop, walk the same stupid path, passby/enter the stupid building, i feel stupid. lol. argh. it has been so long. damn stupid. eh cunt, just fuck off and fucking stop bothering me uh.

no mood for x'mas. feeling heavy yet feeling healthy and fit. i dont know why also. i want to loose weight fuck. want school to reopen soon, idk why. very annoyed but dk what reason. very lazy to do many things but want/need to do. going crazy. yiruma really is the sex. so romantic, dying in his playing of piano is so worth it. feel like vomiting always after my meal, any meal. damn depressing to see my belly, not flabby but big and firm. sad to see people around so stupid and dumb. curse and swear to those uselss people on earth, wish they never exist. continue living it's hell so why not end it. if not make full use of it. try to eat healthy food. dont feel like eating but cant resist. idk why. mind and soul strugling like fuck. really trying and thinking of easier way and faster way, but fuck no. argh. i want to sleep. bye.

i dont know why. why?
night, xoxo.

today was a damn healthy day ah! tried to tan, but the fucking sun its like on and off. pissing me off like damn badly. then went gym. not bad uh. then went for suana. i almost died inside. though i know its not an endurance test, but i cant help it, cause my mind keeps telling me to stay inside for as long as i can. OH WELL. then had a HEAVY DINNER! hahaha.
i had soup mutton, nasi briyani and rojak. woah awesome shit uh. then bro drove me to geylang for durians :) and we went to see those pros. woah, damn ugly and stupid looking uh. hahahahha. all you know what's going on in their mind is, sex cash sex cash sex cash and more cash and more sex. oh well.

im running low on sugar. now i wish a guy with edison appearance, edward's love and yiruma talent to appear right infront of me. HAHAHAHAHA. now angel please be kind and let me go first.



awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. how did he manage to do this? it's beyond words.

play that for me, would you?

Edward cullen! omg, now i know what i can really look for in my future boyfriend! someone that have speed and strength! then can bring me flying around singapore, LOL, damn awesome. and he plays the piano so well! omg, i dont mind being a vamp for him. just for him, yes him, yep you are right, for him, yes for him.
the storyline is alright la, but then, the languages make me melt. awwwww he is so sweet. omg. i want to be in love again.
'your scent is so strong, that it's like a drug to me, my personal everyday heroin.'

[FLORENCE]
Nothing is so good it lasts eternally
Perfect situations must go wrong
But this has never yet prevented me
Wanting far too much for far too long.
Looking back I could have played it differently
Won a few more moments who can tell
But it took time to understand the man
Now at least I know I know him well

[FLORENCE]
Wasn't it good?
Wasn't he fine?
Isn't it madness
He can't be mine?

[SVETLANA]
Oh so good
Oh so fine

He can't be mine?

[FLORENCE]
But in the end he needs
A little bit more than me --
More security

[SVETLANA]
He needs his fantasy
And freedom

[FLORENCE]
I know him so well.

[SVETLANA]
No one in your life is with you constantly
No one is completely on your side
And though I move my world to be with him
Still the gap between us is too wide.

[FLORENCE]

Looking back I could
Have played things
Some other way

[SVETLANA]

Looking back I could
Have played it
Differently

Learned about the man
Before I fell

[FLORENCE]
I was just a little
Careless maybe

[SVETLANA]
But I was
Ever so much
Younger then
Now at least

[FLORENCE]
Now at least
I know him well

[BOTH]
I know I know him well

[SVETLANA]

Wasn't it good?
Wasn't he fine?
Isn't it madness

[FLORENCE]

Oh so good
Oh so fine

[BOTH]
He won't be mine?
Didn't I know
How it would go?
If I knew from the start
Why am I falling apart?

[SVETLANA]

Wasn't it good?
Wasn't he fine?

[FLORENCE]

Isn't it madness
He won't be mine?

[SVETLANA]
He won't be mine?

[FLORENCE]
But in the end he needs a
Little bit more than me --
More security

[SVETLANA]
He needs his
Fantasy and freedom

[FLORENCE]
I know him so well

[SVETLANA]
It took time to understand him

[BOTH]
I know him so well

i feel lousy, stupid, useless and what not. thanks to the white chocolate m&m rauf gave me,
it makes me high on sugar, to feel better. i want to have sugar rush, so happy. :)

On the verge of giving up everything i guess, lol. well, maybe not, cause life goes on.
OH FUCK, it does.

Life would be fantastic if there's if. but haha, no there isnt. oh well. IF only uh.

Intricate, that you never know wtf it means.

The heart has its reasons which reason does not know.

what's a goodnight without bobbylee? or rather madtv! lol

i love subway! cheese steak! and the cashier damn handsome! though i cant see his face clearly, cause of that fuck up contacts which hurts my pupil, but then, i think he is still handsome! hahahahahahahaha.

woah, my nose damn fuck up. i hate block nose. FUCK IT! :(

Cant get the youtube video uploaded here, but well here's the link for negs urban sport.
hahahaha, damn stupid and funny!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdkZbZvtFBk
GO WATCH IT! :D

sinceiwriteveryemotionalwordsonthisblog.haha,readingthosearchivemakesmethinkalot.
eachandeverysentenceisfilledwith,manyenglisherrorsandsorrows.
hahaha.sometimesiwonderifthathelps,butithink itdoes.
tothinkthatinearlytearedwhenireadallthosesillyposttoday,imustbereallysilly!butthenagain,
itsallmemoriesthatisworthtokeepandthinkof.allthosestrongwordsthatwasonlymeantforyou,
iwonderhowdoyoureactandfeeleachtimeyoureaditoryourjustignore,andiamnotsurpriseifyoudont
feelanythingaboutit,causeiguessisnothingmuchbutjustemptyandhollowwordsthatexpresses
myself.iwasreallyseekingforanswerandlivinginselfdenialallthewhile,butiguessigotoutofthatnow,
andislivingwellwithfood,air,waterandfriends.ineverfeltsoattachedtosomeonebeforebutthenagain,
theresalwaysanothertime.andmaybeidontwanttobebackinthepast,likeyou,iwantanewlife.likeyou
iwanttofindoneself.butihavealwaysbeenme,andididneverchange,justlikehowmybeliefcanneverbe
change,causeitisyouthatibelievein.thanksforhelpingmetomakeadecisionwhenicouldnt,yougaveme
somethingthatnobodycouldevergivemewhichisyourunderstanding.

rain rain go away
come again another day
pretty shiyun want to play.
HAHAHAHAHA.

rain, can you just fucking go away! :(

presentation wasnt that bad.
i will surely heed their advice! whoohoooo.
ok, now i want to go for suana!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHAHAHA

P one is finally over. i think my storyboard sucks to the core, then again who cares! its overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. lol.

time to sleep baby! :D

i want to sleep.
i want to slim.
i want to play.
i want to smile.
i want to earn.
i want to laugh.
i want to love.
i want to give.
i want to care.
i want to go.
i want to ...

i hate redo-ing/repeating stuffs to the max. is so wasting of my fucking time. brain wasnt functioning today. not at all. like, *knockknock*"anyone up there?" nope, no response. i dont know why but guess is lack of sleep. argh
had been singing for the whole day, damn awesome uh! hahahahahahahaha. i dont give a fuck if my voice sucks or not, but i just want to sing. dont feel like doing anything at all, wondering when can i get the fucking time to fucking sleep the whole fucking day and fucking wake up the next fucking day, and then woohoo, all hell break loose.

i want to be seahshiyun.

my clones. :) imagine a world with two of me! HAHAHAHA


im in love with my second photo lo! lol. mary seah. chio sia. hope she exist. woah woah woah. i bet bj has been enjoying the pretty pictures, since it's in her com! hahahahaha. i think i look nice with pong tao. all these pictures just so prove that, you will never get sick of me! hahahahah! loves.

fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

i feel so broken. my proj P is so screwed up. im so not satisfied with my work. is like a total crap. i started off so well, then at the end, everything is screwed. fucking screwed. im so lazy to do it. to download autocad and photoshop. i'd rather do it manually. then again, lots of things have to be done. ARGH.

okay. maybe i should learn from project one, since it's the first project. but i get super upset when i see my classmate work, why cant i be as neat and tidy and hardworking as them? hahaha, cause i am damn lazy. OH WELL. Pone gonna end end end end end end. i cant wait to get over it. yeah!

went for an african charity dinner. those african kids were really good. they performed for us. they sang, danced, act and even di martial arts. but i think they were really sincere to perform and all. i think after so amny years of training, they finally gain their respect, well at least they did from me.
however, i think the monk is sort of a scam? he looks so fake. and i hate it when he said, he believes that all of us that attended the dinner is because we have this sympathy for these kids, eh come on la, is like i bet these kids wouldnt want sympathy man. they work and practise so hard is causethey want to earn respect, and in a way earn their own living. imagine if they understand what the monk said, they did be so heartbroken. who the fuck want sympathy? and if they did, for fuck they practised so hard to prove themselves? they did just sat down on the stage, wear some rugged clothings, crying and begigng for money, but they didnt. they performed a really good show that amused and gained respect from us.

i think our little cheerings, did make them really happy and contented. is good to be like this. oh well, i think kids like us should count our blessings.

Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little tired of listening to the sound of my tears
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all my year have gone by
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit terrified, I see the fucking look in your eye

Turnaround, bright eyes
Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround, bright eyes
Fuckin' every now and then I fall apart

And I need you more tonight
I fucking need you more than ever
And if you're lonely hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
'Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
Shit, I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight

Forever's gonna start tonight
Fuckin-ever's gonna start to-

Once upon a time I was falling in love
Now I'm fucking falling apart
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
Oh Jesus, once upon a time there was light in my life
Now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
Total eclipse of the heart

Total eclipse, total eclipse
Turnaround, bright eyes
Total eclipse of the heart
Total eclipse


lol, what more do i hav to say.

Cant believe i was in studio for 12 freaking hours today. last 2 hours were playing mahjong with peeps. haha! i damn pro please, is like total ownage! woohoooo. model is about let's say 75 percent done, and i got no more motivation to continue the last 25 percent. and to think i still need to do the storyboarding which is like a total killer, WOAH, madness.
sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. jiejie is in japan! so sad, miss her much and i'll be duper sad if she doesnt bring back any stuffs for me! HAHAHHAHAHA!~

i want a fly carpet, would you like to take a ride with me around the world? WOOHOO!

i feel something missing, having a feeling that i never have for so long. i wonder why, and somehow i think we shouldnt bother so much. live life to the fullest, take a step at a time, and even if we gonna die the next fucking day, then so be it.

if only i have one wish, then i'll wish for the thing i yearn the most-****. oh well. yes, so much i want to fly away, fly up up to the sky, do you want to fly with me? c'mon please say you do. i dont wish to grow up, neither do i want to. dont wish to have so much troubles, just want to stay in this moment, even if it's forever. i think is fine, perfectly fine. i'll be so glad if the right one appear at this moment, all other mistakes should just be gone. :D

anyway, I FEEL SO MOTIVATED TO FINISH UP MY MODEL, GONNA BE A HAPPY WORKING DAY TOMORROW!

Damn awesome. his actual voice is already so awesome, what more his female voice? so cool to have two voices! you can communicate to yourself! sing duet of a lover song! woah, cool like shitzxzxzxzxzxz. BYE! model makinggggggggggg. :)

is what i am feeling real or not?
i dont know. i just want Pone to end soon, like real soon.

THIS BIG FONT IS FOR YOU, D!