Posted on Wednesday, July 04, 2007, at 11:41 PM
my studies seriously dropped alot .i don't know what's wrong with me .
my amaths , in class i could do .
but at home , everything seemed stucked .
is like , i know , but then again i don't know .
is rather contradicting .
then i thought about both my chinese paper and oral .
well , i seemed to be kind of happy after the paper and oral ,
which means i wouldn't do well ?
haha . is everytime like that .
but i thought , i spoke rather fluently and the conversation was not bad .
cause i did managed to make the examiner said a good .
and my compo and ppr 2 ,
is like er ... i don't know .
now is no longer a pass or a fail ,
is the matter of clinching a A1 or B3 .
well , is o's . there should be no contentment .
we should work for more ,
and expect more from ourselves .
tht's how we achieve isnt it .
frankly speaking ,
i had already put down all my responsibilities .
everything .
band , relationship , family , friendship .
whatever .
i no longer have all these problems now .
is like ,
i'm on good terms with my friends ,
i made new friends ,
i catched up with my old friends .
by right , i should feel happy ,
and go on with my life and studies .
but somehow , i can't .
i lost a thing , i gained many things .
i gained a thing , i lost many things .
so which should i choose .
something which benefits me , or him ?
i don't know too .
all i hope , is my drive to be back .
cause i know ,
everyday , i am making myself busy , tired ,
so i can sleep well .
but i know , my health and emotion are no longer that strong .
i will and is a sure i will breakdown someday .
is only a matter of time .
to all my understanding of things that are likely to happen ,
i don't seemed to do anything to stop it .
well , i jsut cant get over it isn't it .
hahs .
till the day i stop believing .
well .
i choose it . i choose to wait i choose to help .
i should bear the consequences ,
the pains the sufferings the waiting .
is only 3 weeks , is easy to turn bad within 3 mins ,
but to change for the better , it might take years .
all the humilations confidence he needs to have is tremendous .
but i can choose not to wait . is my choice .
well , i will wait .
i will carry on with my life .
study and everything , but still carry on waiting
for him to change .
yea (:
lets strive !
hope so .