Posted on Tuesday, March 11, 2008, at 12:51 AM

i made a big mistake.

a good intention which turn of bad.

a bad impression to god-damn worst.

a mistake which leads to no end.

how can i forgive myself?

a guy whom helped me so much in the past,

and now i got to dissapoint him.

i feel so terrible that it turned out this way,

and i never expect it would be.

if only people can see things in 2 ways,

things wouldnt be so bad.

i admit my wrong,

he admitted his wrong,

but thing just gone to big,

and the power of friendship is still not there.

and now everything falls.

is all my wrong,

i shouldn't planned everything so nicely,

and told noone about it.

they mistaken him about it,

and i made him feel so pathetic,

like a loner.

i shouldn't.

everything starts from me,

and it ended on them.

and i know,

nothing gonna be the same i know.

and this is the only way i can show my feelings to everyone.

i always thought i was right,

and even when i done something wrong,

i will get forgiven easily,

cause when people does me wrong,

i forgive them easily.

but i didn't know,

not everyone is the same.

different people with different perspect.

i didnt know,

i dont know.

i know it isn't right for a boyfriend to be like this,

but i dont mind.

but others mind i didnt know.

i didnt know,

someone confidence respect and conscious

is so difficult to earn back.

i thought it was easy,

because i can.

but i forgot,

they are not me.

what i did i hurt my boyfriend,

and i hurt my friend.

either way i choose is so wrong,

so so wrong.

what should i do?

give up both and start a new life.

i know i can always do it,

but i can't bear to give up both.

i owe them too much.

both parties,

cause they'll never know how much he sacrifies for me.

and he'll never know how much they tried for me.

and they'll never know i didn't mean a thing.

and i'll never know how much it means to them,

cause i always forget,

they're not me.

they see him as bad,

see him as attiude see him as childish

see him as insensible.

i know.

sometimes he does.

but how can i expect him to change sososo fast.

idk.

everything i said just seems so wrong.

if i admit my fault,

he says i side my friends.

if i doesnt admit my fault,

they said i pamper him.

but there is two way i see.

two,

i saw both mistake,

cause i understand both side.

but i forgot,

they dont understand him much,

and he doesnt understand them much either.

i just want to say,

he's not a badie.