ya,
it started with me.
so i should end it.

everyone listen up.
i admitted my fault for being riddculous that day,
in the conversation,
like longlong ago.
i am sorry for all these things which happen,
which i feel uber remorseful in my post back.
and i thought by saying those,
you guys will know that i did admit my mistake,
but obviously you doesnt know.

there is too much to explain,
so i think there is nothing to explain.
if what i had done really hurts you all all so much.
then i am truely sorry.
and if my friend is going to condemn me for one mistake i made
i got nothing better to say.

i really dont know what to explain,
why not ask me what happened i give you the answer.
i really dont know how did my that insisting conver,
affects the whole damn group.
but i know,
was my wrong to admit,
so how do you want me to prove that i admiited.

can give me abit of space or not?
then who the fuck knows how i feel.
so what is cause of my bad attitude,
i dont feel guilty of the arguements going on,
i dont feel bad when i see everything is push to me.
just because,
you guys wanted to tell me my bad,
so is my fault that things arise.
is so many misunderstandings lo,
so many many many,
that i dont know how to explain.

i kept insisting that day with clara,
cause i feel that the approach to me was so wrong.
the way she talks is like defending him.
so, i was angry.
so i talked all those in anger.
and the next day,
when grace talked to me,
directly,
i know what's going on and my bad,
so i admitted.
so i silence down.
so i kept quiet.

so how did i know,
saying feeling uncomfortable with you is also my fault.
yes,
i admit i hurt you so much.
but not like as if you didnt hurt me with your words.
so you want me to tell you what,
the way you said everything in that conver,
hurt me.
okay?
and i am sorry truely sorry about the uncomfortable thing,
i only felt like this recently,
so you dont have to get so uptight.
i thankyou for always being there for me,
trying to help me.
all these i understand.

so many times i want to sms you to apologise,
but the thing you said on your blog pull me back.
cause you didnt know i admitted my fault.
now i tell you i admitted it longlong ago.
ok?
and i didnt explain cause i thought everyoen can let it go,
and make you guys feel that i changed.
such things i see no need to explain.
so if you still want to hold this things and talk about the conversation,
i got nothing to say.

but i am srry for my attitude and my words.