Posted on Sunday, April 13, 2008, at 1:48 AM
What does life actually had for me?What will be my future be?
i always believe things are beyond my control,
i make things happen and i creat my own future.
but somehow, this strong mentality in me is dying.
sometimes,
people always have their own flaw,
like who is flawless isnt it?
Even being kind, would be a flaw.
who would think of that?
like overly being kind and thoughtful,
people thinks is harming.
like how you might think, but in some situation it does.
i had been thinking for days.
it doesnt pay to be kind,
nobody will appreciate it.
and even one does, is only that respect and gratitude you earn.
you still get hurt somehow by the people you help.
i mean you can be someone of great personality,
good academic achievements and all.
you live happily on your own.
but just at this time,
you fell into something deep,
something that you never thought will be like this,
something that hold you back for everything,
something which you are willing to give up everything for this,
the happiness you once had, and this is how you screw your own life.
you get troubled worried, sorrows agony because of just this person.
and this person will never appreciate your presence.
at this point of time,
should i gamble with my life and time, for this you.
i dont want to live my life in agony, is not me.
at the same time, i wish you live all the best,
and no mistake should be made from you.
i staked my life, to try to win your assurance.
and this is beyond my control, and i dont know how.