Posted on Monday, April 14, 2008, at 2:49 AM
Whats the problem now?i am not sure.
should i say,
you really haven mature yet?
should i just blind myself with this.
idk.
whatever you're thinking,
i thought of it.
even those you are not thinking,
i also know.
whatever will happen in the future,
i know.
whatever mistake you might make again,
i know.
whatever fears you have,
i know.
you just cant assure me.
cause you youreslf jolly doesnt trust yourself.
no use telling yourself how useless and lousy you are,
tell yourself how to be useful and good.
i jolly well know the consequence of my decision.
i know i might get hurt again.
i know i am risking.
i know you cant promise.
i know everything clearer than you do,
than anyone else does.
but i will never let go of any mirical that will save you.
i know i cant do this alone.
i know i cant do the talkings and you follow.
i know it really requries your courage, trust confidence
ecverything that you now doesnt have.
and i dont know if you will have it in future.
but i only know,
you will still have me.
and let me be your everything.
your courage, trust and confidence.
so what are you afraid of now.
i really dont know.
i thought, sometimes i need pampering too.
i told you i dont need anything. i'm a liar.
so much i want your attention and care.
so much i wish you would be a great lover.
so much i wish you would be perfect.
so much i wish you can have better temper.
a really good temper, idk.
sometimes i think, why make myself so difficult.
i found an answer,
my heart told me, cause i love you too much.
and what's your?
i dont need your sacrifising love.
i dont need you to tell me seek for a better one.
like i dont know, like i dont know there is many better one out there.
but i will never be better without you.
i just need you to stand up again, and show everyone.
is you, all about you.
it no longer involves you, it invovles me too,
you cant deny this, but it is.
will you be better without me? if yes, tell me.
if one day i tell you, i will be better off without you,
then let me go.
but if i dont, dont ever say that to me.
unless you feel that way too.
idk.
if we ends, many years later,
i know i wil be laughing at my ownb blog entries.
laughing at how dumb how unrealistic i was.
how i live in my own world.
and i believe if that happens, i'll never be the same again.
i'll never be true twice, only once.
and if i fails, i will never be true again,
be realistic people says,
how much does a reality cost?