True love's a suicide,
Posted on Saturday, February 28, 2009, at 12:25 AM
i guess is not easy to survive from a suicide, but i think we have to learn to get better as days go by. i know noone can promise me tomorrow or even buy back yesterday, so we shouldnt be living in the past. i think is time for me to stop repeating my mistakes.today is a sad day. despite the fact that ADT is over, but i think i didnt do a good job for my board and duh, my workmanship is totally crap. too lazy to think, too lazy to try. its like i want to hit the bull's eye at one go, but you know, life's never that easy.
sometimes i feel everything is like a joke. every single person that come and go, every single things that happen, big or small, who cares, life's a joke. it's like im always stuck at the second gear, hasnt been my day, week, month or even year. hahs, JOKE.idk. i think i should change. ya, i shouldnt be so smoking my way through kinda thing, actually idk, i have no problem to commit when i want to, cause i love to do so. but i have a serious problem with myself. i dont do things i dont like, and laziness is the queen in me.
why should we be submissive towards just because they want you to do it, dont you live your own damn fucking life for yourself, and not for others. dont people feel that the world is big, you think you know everything? you think you're the best? you think you're fucking knowledgable? you think your perception is always right? the way you think you are fucking right, is like ME, like how i think im fucking right too. dont you feel that you are fucking superficial, like as if the world revolves around you, saying things according to your own mood, and not cause of your natural emotions. that's when humans are screw up. cause they dont fucking think. they dont think for others, and what's worst, they think is ok to be selfish. fuck yourself then. and if you think many things are correct or right, cause it's scientific proven, or some whatever holy book written it down, then it's never correct. cause how can emotions and perception be recorded and proven? its about you observing, seeing, and feeling for others.
please fuck, 'OH! cause of this, that's why i make this decision.' decision lies in your heart, not your brain.